5 months

Girlies you are 5 months old!! Such big girls!! 

So let's see, what have you been up to lately!? 

Zo Zo: You are a big girl. Not quit sure what you weigh but you seem to be chubbier and taller every time I look at you. Daddy went out of town for a week, and thought you looked bigger in just 5 days! You love to stand up and are very strong. You love to grab at anything within your reach and put everything in your mouth. You roll both ways, but would prefer to hang out on your side. I get it, I'm indecisive too! You can pull from laying down to standing straight up with very little help from us. It's actually kind of amazing how strong you are for a little 5 month old baby. Every time we have people over they watch you and say, "Man she is SO strong". I have a feeling your little will is going to be every bit as strong too. You like things on your terms! You love the exersaucer and have started hating the swing. Anything that makes you lay on your back annoys you right now. You want to sit up SO badly, but can't quite get it by yourself yet. You are such a happy girl. You love me and daddy and it makes me happy. You smile the second you hear us talk! You are very very content and really don't cry much at all. You pretty much spend most days playing and smiling and just looking around for me to talk to you. Zoester, you are the best and we love you so so much!! 

Nor Nor: You are a big girl too, but much shorter than your sister. The difference in your size seems to be getting much more significant as far as height goes. Your little sister seems to be towering over you these days. Every night you seem to gain another pair of pjs that don't even start to fit her and fit you like a glove. It's funny...and unnerving to this mommy who likes you to match every day. Not loving that you are in 6 month jammies and she is in 9 month jammies! You are still struggling with eczema but don't seem to be itching now that we smother you in creams and aquaphor daily. You are a permanent slime ball!! You are rolling both ways too and won't stay laying on your back for more than 2 seconds when we put you down on the floor to play. I have never seen a baby flip so fast, and it's funny because for the longest time I was sure my tummy time efforts with you were a waste of time because you would not lift you head. Now that cute little head pops right up all cute and strong! You are a smiling machine and are a laugher!! You love to laugh and squeal, and cackle. It's is so easy to get you to laugh. I love it. You love to grab at toys too and love to be standing up! You are pretty much addicted to your crib and when you are tired you don't care too much for long rocking sessions with mommy. You prefer to be put in your sleep sack, given your lovie and paci and be left along. It's kind of sad, however your other half is NOT as easy to get down for naps so I am thankful you are always easy to put down. As easy as you are to put down in your crib....you are literally impossible to deal with when you are ready for a nap and we aren't at home. It is truly stressful. You would scream in the car for hours I think if we didn't get you home. It is shrill, and hysterical, and really one of the worst sounds ever. However, the second we get home and I put you in your crib you stop. Instantly. It's really crazy. Your particular nap time behavior is pretty much the only hard thing we deal with right now. You are perfection to us! Your sweet chubby face is just too much and I could kiss it 1,000 a day!! We love you little Nora Beth!!

Girls, you are also both getting better with sleep. You have been waking up at 12am to eat for months now and I finally got so tired of drifting off only to be woken up an hour later, that we now just feed you right before we go to bed. You usually then sleep (well go without eating) until morning. However, no joke Nora, you wake up every morning at between 2:30-4:30 screaming. All I have to do is replace the paci or let you eat for like 1 minute...but if I don't go in you will cry for an hour until you wake up your sister. We love you tons, but you have some high maintenance tendencies! Both of you have been going to bed around 7:30-8 and sleeping until 7:30-8 with the late night feeding and usually some middle of the night randomness. The middle of the night randomness is what I am hoping to nix here pretty soon. You take 5-6 bottles a day now. I am pretty much just pumping now. Since you and your sister wake up about 30 minutes off of each other the nursing was just getting to be too much and I wasn't willing to wake up the other sleeping baby. I am finally learning that as a mom whatever works for us is what's best. And for us, that has turned out to be pumping and giving the babies a little wiggle room to keep an independent schedule. 

You are both napping like champs and take 2 long (1.5-2 hour) naps, one in the morning and one early afternoon and then catch another hour or so nap in the evening. 

I am still dreaming if the day that we put you in your room and don't see you again until morning. Actually, I will even take the 10:30 feeding, if the night waking would stop! I know it's coming. We have had ONE glorious night where we put you down and you woke up 12 hours later. So now I know it's biologically possible! :) 

However, you are doing great and I probably can't expect much more at this point than a nine hour stretch. You are both big girls and I know it takes a lot to fill those tummies and I'm not a big fan of giving huge bottles....we have spitters for sure....so we will just spread out your feedings for now and hope you can handle bigger bottles in the near future so we can spend the DAY eating and the NIGHT SLEEPING!! 

Little nuggets, we truly love you more than you will ever know!! What a joyful, blessed, exhausting, fun, happy 5 months it's been!! 

Smiles

Just when I think it can't get any better it does! I remember when we were setting up the nursery and putting up the cribs I told Lance that I couldn't wait until one morning when I would walk into their pretty lavender room, look into the cribs, and see two smiling faces up at me!

Then the babies come and reality sets in! No one smiles for a while, and you are awaken out of a foggy 2 hour "nap" by screaming babies while you rush to try to get the life size nursing pillow set up while the screams get louder and louder. We lived that scenario for months and months.

But now, now my dream is happening and I am soaking up every last drop of it! In the mornings I usually see two little people perched up on their elbows just looking around talking. Then, when they see me the giant ear to ear smiles come! It.Is.The.Best.Feeling.In.The.Whole.World!

As exhausted as I still am, thanks to my little night owls, I cant help but smile every morning at 7:30 when my little Nora summons me, followed by her sister 15 minutes later. Now I take chipper little girls out of bed and they play on the floor while I pour my coffee and brush my teeth. We then leisurely get all set up for "breakfast" and it is just so wonderful!

I love love love love it!! I love love love being a mommy. I love rocking my babies to sleep. I love dressing them each day. I love ALL of it! I even find myself smiling as I am washing bottles thinking, "Man, I never thought I would be here....washing bottles for MY two perfect baby girls!" It is still SO hard because I am SO tired and I am beyond ready for them to get into a more predictable nap pattern so we can start to venture past our front porch without the fear of public humiliation. But I will be patient. I will soak in the long naps with my girls in my arms, I will soak up all the smiles, and I will try to freeze time so I never forget our long, quiet days together.

So, when I get stressed that my living room looks like a day care, or that it's 2:30pm and all I have eaten is a spoonful of peanut butter...I will try my best to stop and thank God for the life I am currently living. I have been praying for this life for years, and I will take all of it. Even the bad and annoying and tiring parts!

Thank you God for making me "Mommy"!

Lately

Man...people aren't lying when they say "it goes by so fast". I feel like just when my girls hit one "phase" they are going into the next. They are exploding with personality, laughing, smiling and are just such a joy to be around. They are doing so much better with naps and right now I can count on at least two 1.5-2 hour naps a day and a 45 minute or so nap in the evening. It really makes ALL the difference in parenting when you can count on a few predictable moments of rest in the day. The girls seriously KILLED it with "sleep training!" We bought sound machines and started separating them at naps. I kind of cancelled life for a few days and just waited for the girls to look sleepy, rocked them one at a time until they were drowsy and then put them down for their naps. Nora probably cried a total of 5 minutes the whole week. She was born loving her bed. Zo Zo did awesome too but we did have a few naps where we had to "cry it out" for a few minutes. However, I timed the screams and the longest she ever cried was 12 minutes! Before this new structured nap time I was rocking the girls at the same time until they fell asleep and then I was either stuck in the glider for 2 hours, or woke them upon transfer to their beds and then had to deal with fussy, woken up babies. This newfound ability to place a baby into bed after 5 minutes of rocking is changing my life!! I never want to give up rocking the girls, but I am happy that on days where I just need to get things done, I can quickly get them down for naps and move on with my day. I think the sleeping with the girls in the glider habit started when I was so sleep deprived I slept every time they did and then the girls just got used to it and it was a hard habit to break. But I am happy to report they have both been extremely predictable with their little daily routines. Lately like clockwork (this is for me to look back on...feel free to skip) they have been: -Wake at 8am -eat/play -napping from 8:45-10:45 -eat/play -napping from 12:30-2:30 -eat/play -napping from 430-5:30 (this is a struggle of a nap for Zo Zo...not sure why...I think she may just be super tired) -no nap -bed at 7:45 Of course there is a variance of about 15 minutes since they are different people and all....but it's pretty close to right on the money these days! They also slept straight from 7:45-8:15 last night without a peep!! It was a strange feeling. Lances alarm went off at 5:45 and we both woke up confused. Lance just assumed I got up an fed them and I literally thought I must have just forgotten I got up and then actually got a little worried and went in to check that everyone was breathing! Yep, everyone was alive. So we officially had out first "sleeping through the night" at 4.5 months! They have done long stretches here and there and often go about 8 hours. But we have never come close to a 12 hour stretch! I'm a realistic person and honestly we keep expectations pretty low around her so I am fully prepared that this may have just been a lucky night...but I'm thankful to know its biologically possible for them to survive that long without eating hehe!! (Ok...I have to add that while writing this one cried at 12:30 and then the other at 1:15 so we still aren't that consistent yet I guess!). On another note, I had my first day of work today. I am working 9 hours a week with 5 hours being on Monday and 4 on Tuesday. My Mom is coming to my house Tueadays and we have a sweet nanny coming coming Mondays. I'm working 2-7 & 2-6 so Lance is with them for a couple hours before I get home. I was kinda depressed to leave today and my mom was amazing and followed my pages of directions to a T!! It was great knowing she was with them. She is amazing and literally does exactly what I ask and even calls to clarify tiny things like kinds of lotions to use and exact details about things to make absolute sure she is doing it exactly like I would. She gets how important keeping a schedule is with twins and I am so appreciative! Lance did great too!! When I got home both girls were happily playing in their Jammie's ready for bed. Nora was all lotioned up an itch free too! I am blessed!! :) So that's about all that's up with us! Ill be posting a 5 month before too long....crazy!!!

4 months!

Our little angels are 4 months old!! We just got home from their official 4 month visit and they are both doing great. We made a plan to treat Nora's eczema and I have decided to continue to nurse for now and hope we can get a hold of the problem with some more diet modifications and medication. However, if nothing works we will go to formula. 

Nora is in the 75% in height, weight, and head circumference. She weighs 14.5 lbs, is 25 inches long and her head measurement was 16.5 inches. 

Zoe is in the 95% in height and 75% for her weight and head. She weighs 4.11 lbs, is 26 1/4 inches long and her head measured 16.5 inches.

So, the girls are about the same weight and have the same head size but Zoe is a lot taller! Which explains why Nora weighs less but looks much chunkier than little Zoester! 

Both girls are starting to babble a lot. Zoe must be the most social little creature to ever live. She never stops talking. She babbles herself to sleep, she babbles in her car seat, she babbles in her swing and babbles at her reflection. She gets SO excited when she makes eye contact with someone and realizes they want to talk to her. It.Is.So.Cute!! She is the kind of child who will skim right over a nap if anything is going on. She has to be in her bed in the dark to sleep. She just loves people.

Nora is not as much of a "people person". Nora loves one on one time with mommy singing or reading. She loves to smile at Zoe and has started cackling the cutest little squeaky laugh! However, Nora loves her sleep and unlike Zoe we have to make sure our little Nora gets her nap ON TIME or life is no bueno for anybody!! Nora's little smile and soft voice will melt your heart. It is just so sweet, but she is definitely our more serious child! 

It's interesting having twins because you can see two such different little personalities emerge. We originally thought Nora was really laid back compared to Zoe, but now I'm not sure. They both have their moments of freaking out and both have their sweet moments. Zoe has definitely evolved into a baby who can roll with the punches a bit better. She can handle a late nap, or hunger pretty well. Nora used to be that way but they seem to have switched personas this month! I guess we'll see if they switch back again. 

As far as their motor skills and things go they are both rolling some. Interestingly, Nora rolls from her tummy to her back and Zoe rolls from her back to her tummy. However, neither baby cares to do it much at all. Nora sleeps on her tummy and has been rolling to her back in the night and is none to happy about it! However, yesterday I went to get her up and she was on her back smiling at me! Progress!! 

Zoe pretty much always wants to be "standing" and looking around. When on her back she is always trying to sit up and is pretty annoyed I think that she can't sit up. She is trying so hard. Shes done it for a few seconds before falling so far. Yesterday, she even supported her weight on her legs and held onto the ottoman for a out 15 seconds! At 4 months! She's really a strong little thing! 

Nora is finally supporting her weight on her legs. She had earned the nickname "little blob" because every time we tried to get her to put weight on her legs she would just crumble into a blob. But now she's every bit as good as sister! 

Both girls are doing great with tummy time. No joke, when I realized I needed to be putting them on their tummies each day I put Zoe down and she popped up on both elbows and stuck her head straight up and smiled. She cracks me up. It took our little sweet blob a few weeks to master tummy time but now she can almost keep up with her sister. 

Nora loves to lay in her activity mat and swat at her toys. She loves all things yellow. She truly favors anything yellow. Its funny. Zoe likes to grab the toys and try to pull them down to put in her mouth. Just today she rolled to her side, picked up her empty bottle and started drinking from it. Looks like its time to make sure Zoe doesn't get her hands on things she can choke on! 

I'm learning that Nora is 100% on track developmentally, but Zoe is pretty ahead of he game in lots of ways. But for a while I worried that Nora was delayed. But shes not...she is just not as strong and motivated as Zoe in lots of ways. And that's ok! They are different people. 

I really can't wait to see if they continue to stay so different. Because right now I feel like they are pretty much opposites! I think Nora would like to spend the day in the sling with me cuddled up singing songs and talking and I think Zoe would like me to push her stroller into the middle of a crowded room and just let her "talk" to everyone! I can't imagine which child is like Lance and which is like me!? ;) 

Anyway, we are seriously enjoying these girls. It's gets better and better each day! We are blessed!!

My big girl at the doctor...poor thing didn't know what was coming :(

My little"er" angel at the doctor...sweet thing! 

Both girls one morning....but this day was rough! Two little fussy girls for some reason this day! 

Zo Zo with Mimi 

The girls playing with the Bradford girls one day!

Nora angel one morning! 

Our Nora Girl

Our sweet little Nora is struggling. She has had dry skin and tummy trouble her whole life and at about 4-6 weeks the doctor suspected she may have a sensitivity to dairy. I cut it all out of my diet and it seemed to help a bit. I was never completely sold however that she was allergic to milk. But who knows! Anyway, her dry skin turned into what looked like a teeny bit of eczema and that teeny bit of eczema tuned into a lot of eczema covering her little body and driving her nuts. 

For weeks now she won't sleep and spends most of the day crying if she isn't being held. It's very hard to hold a baby all day when she has a sweet little sister who needs you too! It's also very hard to know your baby is hurting and not know how to fix it. 

I took her to the doctor yet again because she was screaming inconsolably and pulling on her ears all week. I thought she had an ear infection. Nope. Maybe teething...but who can really tell! Anyway, times like this is would be so helpful for our whole family if sweet Nora could tell us what's wrong. Lance and I are very tired from getting up 5-10 times a night with her. She just lays in our arms and moans! Breaks our hearts!! 

I am considering putting Nora on a hypoallergenic formula the doctor recommended months ago. I have resisted and cut foods from my diet for months hoping something works and she just seems to get fussier with each passing day, and gets more and more rashy, and is now pretty much congested sounding all the time. She has pretty textbook food allergy symptoms. So even though I can pump 20oz at most times in the day....I may be putting Nora on formula. Stinky, expensive formula at that. But I truly don't care one bit at this point. We are just desperate for our little nugget to feel herself again, we are all ready to sleep again and I think Zoe is ready for mommy back too! 

Parenting truly is 1000 times harder than I could have imagined. Having a little helpless human counting on you to make all their decisions and keep them healthy and happy can be hard work at times!! But I'm so thankful to be the mommy of my little fussball and look forward to the day that she is no longer quite such a challenge!! She has SUCH a sweet, easy going personality and whatever is bothering her has made it hard for her to be her happy, sweet little self! Poor angel! 

We will see how her trial week of formula goes! I'm a bit skeptical but we shall see! :) 

Enjoy the Nora pic overload! She really is such a precious little angel & such a blessing to our family! We wouldn't trade her for the world! even when she sleeps 4 hours a night and screams for the better part of the other 20!! Not really, but maybe close! Hehe ;) 

Wide eyes first thing in the morning on her 4 month birthday

Colleague of cuteness!

Listening to mommy act like a crazy lady singing show tunes to get her to smile! 

Sweet angel after her first "sleeping through the night" it probably goes without saying based on this post, but sleep has been seriously regressing! 

Work

So on September 3 I start work. I am only working Monday and Tuesday late afternoon/evening so not much at all, but work it is! I am very excited to get out if the house for a few hours a coupe days a week, I am very excited to be able to contribute to a few bills, I am very excited to add a little speech therapy back into my week, and I am very very excited to have 10 hours a week with some guaranteed adult interaction, conversations where people talk back (well, in my line if work people don't always talk back but that's what I'm there for hehe), and something to take my mind off all things mommy for a few minutes. 

But I will admit that leaving the girls for 10 hours a weeks, even though I 100% trust their temporary care takers and daddy, is making me uneasy! I pretty eat, sleep and breath these two baby girls. I know them inside and out and know how they tick. Well, at least this week, they do love to change it up! I am telling myself that a little distance is healthy, that they will live even if at that evening nap Zoe isn't rocked up on my shoulder and Nora in the crease of my other arm while simultaneously putting in both pacis and singing "You are my Sunshine". But it's hard for me. I'm sure it's just first mom"itis" but I just hate to change things up on them! I worry that they will have a hard time with the change and wonder where I am. Am I giving a 3.5 month old too much credit!? I have been told by those I love most hehe that I am a baby micromanager. I think it's sadly true. But this letting go thing is HARD for me! 

But I think this will be a good lesson for me. I can get in my car, put on my music and say a quick prayer knowing they are in Gods hands and he is their ultimate protector, not me. And hello, they will be with my mom at my house Monday and a sweet nanny at the house Tuesday. Then Daddy takes over! He will do great and I must say, I'm a little glad daddy gets a taste of what two babies alone are like. He is so supportive of me and helpful, but I think he will gain a more clear picture of my days with them when he sees the "fun" getting two babies fed and asleep alone brings hehe! 

But I am very thankful for my job, for the flexibility it allows and for the opportunity to switch gears from mommy to speech therapist a couple evenings a week! Not that you can ever really turn off mommy brain! 

Wish me luck! :!

They won't ever know...

Today as I was sifting through my girls 6 month clothes, yes they have outgrown 3 month hehe, I found 3 little onesies from a friend that she's got at an adoption conference. They say "hope for orphans" and we have 3 of them. One just waiting for Jane. 

I was looking at Zoe & Nora in the little shirts and thinking, "man, they have no idea." They have no idea that they were born into a family who loves adoption. They have no idea that they will likely be going on multiple trips to Ethiopia, celebrating Ethiopian holidays, and "gotcha days". But then I thought about it some more and realized they will no nothing different. We won't have to teach them that no matter what color you are God loves us all the same. They will only know a life with siblings with different color skin. And we won't have to help them understand that you can still be a family, even if you have different biological mommies and daddies. They won't know a thing different. We wont have to explain to them how much Jesus loves orphans and that we are called to take care of them. They won't have any memories otherwise. All they will ever remember is a family, all mixed up with different colored people. 

Sometimes since having the girls I stop and think, "ok....what have I done. We finally have a really good system down here. Am I really about to rock the boat with another child who will likely have some special needs?" Because, having twins comes with some serious "special needs" and not a lot of sleeping, or eating, or cleaning, or talking to your husband or keeping up with friends. But when I stop and look into the future and know my girls will only know adoption as normal, when I realized we will have to teach them that we are in fact the "different" family it makes me smile! Because it took me a long time in my life to realize that as a Christian "different" is in fact our goal. We are supposed to be set apart. My girls will only ever remember being "different" and as odd as that sounds it makes me so very happy! 

I can't wait to see what God has in store for us with little Jane, because the last two gifts he gave us were pretty amazing!! :)