I've been obsessing......I know!

So, yes I am a typical first time mom. And yes, I have been slightly freaking out about my children's first illness. I have always been a weirdo about sickness. I don't really get sick much, but when I do get sick  I tend to think I am probably dying. ;) 

Anyway, we introduced food to the chicas a couple weeks ago and they were loving it. Especially Nora. On Tuesday evening my mom was with the girls and she said that Nora hated her food. I thought it was wierd and then the next day, she didn't eat a bite. She then woke up around 1am and I was kinda bummed since her sleep had gotten SO great. I went in to pat her and could (pardon my grossness) hear the snot! It was out of control. And she was up ALL night because she couldn't breath. The next day it got worse and worse and man is it ever stressful to have sick twins! Nora needed so much attention, and pretty much needed me holding her at all times and couldn't sleep. However, my little 6 month old other baby girl isn't quite old enough for me to hand the remote in times like these and say "Go crazy" I need to take care of your sister. SO, I did my best. But Nora didn't sleep much at all and pretty much the only naps she took were in the car. I actually drove around for 2 hours one day to make sure she got a morning nap. Has anyone ever been to Needville? Ha! 

Next thing I know, and I know this will just be our life, but I hear the same sniffles and coughing on the monitor and Zoe is sick. And so far, Nora has been a much better patient! Zoe acts like we are trying to kill her every time we wipe her nose! Oh Zoester. But it was the same story, only Zoe got sick over the weekend so it was way less stressful! She is still in pretty bad shape, but hopefully she gets better soon so I don't have to do this all over again this week by myself. 

But that's all part of it right!? Lance has convinced me that they will infact live to see another day and I am just praying God heals their little bodies soon. I have racked my brain on where they picked this up. Call me crazy, but I think it's from chewing on the tables at Gringos. Hehe! I've tried really hard to protect them from illness, but I guess it was bound to happen. We hang out with friends and most have kids over 1. So I guess now they are building up their little immune systems. 

In other news I am no longer nursing. Lots of reasons why, but the point is I am done. It was hard at first and I cringed with every bottle of formula they drank. However, now I feel great. And in very very exciting news, we tried Nora on a sample of a prescription formula because her eczema was still awful and after 24 hours she was a new child!! I mean the girl has a new set if skin!! We have been rubbing her sweet little arms, legs and face all weekend in amazement!! She is so soft, and smooth and perfect! She was perfect when she was bumpy too...but she has got to feel better. I even put her in a onsie with not pants yesterday and no itching! This is huge...I usually have to cover her legs because she scratches until she bleeds. Based on this dramatic change, it can very likely be concluded that Nora is allergic to dairy & soy. Our insurance even pays for the formula which is huge because out of pocket it was going to cost us hundreds per month! I no longer cringe at the formula. I scoop that powder in her bottle with a smile on my face and cheerfully shake it up and smile as she gulps it down! I am just so happy she feels better! I suppose we will worry about what a dairy allergy means later. But for now we are celebrating this exciting change! She has also slept about 2 hours later each day since we started. Not sure if this is from less itching or her illness but I am just so happy we seem to have found the key to her comfort! 

Well, I suppose I should head to bed. It's only 10:30 and I've already had to rock Zoe back to sleep 3x and suction her nose. Plus, Nora seems to have liked getting picked up every time she wiggled for a week and I have a feeling she may have regressed a bit with sleep. Actually, I hear a munchkin now! I must say, this week has made me feel so honored that God chose me to be a mommy! I get to be the one to wipe noses, and give medicine and sing to sleep. I get to be the voice that calms and the person who wipes tears. I know I am a tad mushy when it comes to them, but I am just in awe of this gift God gave me and this role he is trusting me to fill! I love these babes SO much! I love to get to be the mommy! Although, I am the tired mommy lately that's for sure! 

Ok, off to pat some little bottoms! :) 

Nora sleeping in her car seat. This was the only way we could get her to fall asleep! 

Me and Zo Zo shopping for sisters medicine

Zoe "steaming" in the tub

Bottle time in the sauna :)

First trip to buy a weeks worth of baby food! 

Nora her first night...she was in bad shape :(

Sicky head baby girl 

Mommy trying her best to force a smile out of the little munchkin 

My new babysitter the Camry! This is a life saver when you have sick twins and can't put both to sleep! 

Starting to feel a tiny bit better

"Mom, for real stop with the pictures!"

6 months!

I am posting a few days early because both are napping at the same time and who knows when that will happen again!

But the girls are 6 months!! They are all of a sudden little people with personalities and are just so precious! They are the smiliest little things and are trying so hard to be "on the move". Both girls are sitting up unassisted for a few seconds at a time before toppling over. They have mastered the art of rolling both ways which is a lifesaver for us! We were going in and flipping them at night for weeks and weeks and I was about to go insane....for real! They love to grab at their toys and like to play on their tummies and try to crawl. Their little bodies have all the motions down but they can't quite get their tummies off the ground to actually crawl. It makes Nora very very angry! The second I put her down she flips to her tummy, and then sets her sight on a toy and tries to crawl over but can't. She then screams until I pick her up or put the toy in her hand! On that note, I'll update on Nora....then Zo can have a turn!

My little Nora. We love you so much. You get cuter and cuter every day and this month you seem to have transformed from our little Budda blob baby to a little girl! You can sit up like a champ and sometimes I can't believe how big you seem. You love to laugh and love to play with your toys. You have unfortunately gained a new nickname this month and that's "little HM" aka High maintenance! You are a touch cookie some days. You want to play on the floor, but are very annoyed that you can't crawl. You currently require being held or being in a toy that keeps you upright. Your short little fuse just can't handle your current developmental stage! I am looking forward to when you can see a toy and just go get it! We did "sleep training" with you this month and this was something I swore I'd never do! Not to label our parenting because who are we kidding we are just winging this day by day, but for lack of a better explanation we kind or do the whole attachment parenting thing with you guys. I kind of don't believe in sleep training, however I also don't believe in being a Zombie mommy who can't properly care for her children so sleep training it was. We did the Ferber method and you fought it hard. Like hard hard hard!! The first night we went in every 20 minutes to calm you down for almost 2.5 hours!!! It was misery. And contrary to what most people report it took you about 14 days to get it. However, now you are doing awesome!! You are sadly a night pooper so I still have to go in and change diapers nightly, but we have finally kicked the "mommy I am going to scream until you feed me 5 times a night habit!" Your teeth are also starting to show a bit through your gums and I can tell it is going to be any day that they pop through. This will be cause for celebration!! Nora you love people and really like to be in the middle of the conversation. You flash this adorable little closed mouth smirk at us about 100 times a day and it melts my heart! You love mommy and daddy but also love your family and friends too! You will happily play in someone else's arms as long as you can look over every now and then and see us. You adore your sister. It's too much! I snap about a million pictures a day of you smiling at her, crawling on her, and holding her hand!! Your are our little sweet pea and we couldn't love you more!

Zo Zo.....you continue to be the most laid back, chill little thing! You literally go most days without even a fuss. No exaggeration. You will wake up in the morning and smile for every waking second. It's amazing! I have truly never seen a happier baby!! You are very very tall. You are heavier and taller than most of your 11-12 month old friends. You don't look 6 months old! You love to play on the floor and like sister, wish you could crawl. You are close little munchkin, I can tell! You are teething and lately always have one little finger in your mouth that you chew on and the amount of drool you can produce is crazy! You have been our awesome sleeper from day one, but are now doing what your sister used to do and has since stopped. That's the hard thing about twins! We aren't excited to have to "sleep train" another baby girl! But you scream out for us multiple times a night lately and it's pretty hard to calm you down without waking up your sister! But you will get over the hump too I'm sure of it! Zoester, you continue to love mommy and daddy and have started to get pretty concerned when you can hear me but dont see me. Most times if I am in the house you have to have me in your sight. Usually I put Nora down first for naps and leave you in the living room playing in your exersaucer....lately I have to sneak out quietly and then you don't seem to mind. However, if you can hear me singing to Nora you scream from the other room! It's pretty sad and I haven't quite figured out how to do naps without always leaving one of you alone. I'm pretty sure there is no solution and you will just have to accept it sweet girl! You have been a smiler all your life, but this month we finally started to hear real laughs from you. We love it so much!! Zo you are perfect, and more and more fun every day! 

Hers what else you are up to:

Sleep: you guys have been fighting me on bed time bad! Well, not really fighting but all you want to do is go down around 5:30! No matter how late I put you down, you wake up at 5:30 and want to go back down at 5:30pm. So far all that "keeping you up" does is make for a fussy, hard next day! This has been very very hard to say the least. This has me doing morning time, all naps, all feedings, all baths and bedtime routine all by myself since Dad doesn't get home until 6! We are in the midst of trying to figure this out. But some tears have been shed on my part lately because I am very overwhelmed and exhausted doing everything by myself. It's hard, and a little bit lonely. The joy in the daily things you guys do, like baths, and first solid food and things like that are dampened a bit when you dont have anyone to share it with. It's been hard. You have fortunately started sleeping better, especially Nora and we have had a few nights with no wakings. We are still working towards "sleeping through the night" though! 

Eating: you are taking 5 bottles a day and have oatmeal sometimes. I haven't consistently started the twice a day food thing mainly because it's hard to add one more thing to the evenings right now since I'm trying to get everyone down by myself.

Size: we haven't been to you official appointment yet but I know you are both the bigger side! I'm excited to see the exact stats!

Life, continues to be so much fun with the girls! However, if I am being completely honest this month has probably been the hardest. Having two babies pretty much keeps you tied to the house. When I do decide to try to venture out, it can go great or end in disaster and that's hard to deal with alone in public hehe! I am hoping to find a friend soon that lives close by and can just go on walks with us or do quick, no fuss things! I have two sweet friends that come to my house every Thursday with their littles and it's means so much to me!! I know this is just a season and I don't want to wish it away, but it can be hard to spend so much time at home with babies and not really have an outlet to get out and have some fun sometimes. I had hoped to do ladies bible class but it just wasn't possible right now, and I try to do playgroup but it falls at nap time and it's just too hard to deal with melting down babies alone. I'm trying to stay positive and accept that this season is just one that is going to be spent at home, and I am going to try my best to soak in the time with my girls and not look at it as being lonely but look at it as time to spend uninterrupted with my two angels. I know I will blink and it will be over and I don't want to look back and feel like I wished away this phase of their little lives! I am enjoying every ounce of them and am so thankful I spend my days with my two little bundles! But I have been praying that God will send me a friend in a similar boat! I know he will! 

Other than that we are just trucking along, our new normal is pretty much constant business with short moments of calm. We are pretty much in "go" mode all the time and are used to it! We love it! We love our girls, and are so thankful for the 6 months we've had with them!! Can you even believe ANOTHER baby girl will be joining the Agan clan someday!? Ha! I kind of can't....but of course am ecstatic!! I told Lance once I was sleeping through the night for 2 straight months we could seriously start talking about our little JJ! So if these chicks want a sister they need to shape up soon!! :) 

That's all for now....off to bed at 9:15! :)