Waiting to wait and then waiting some more.....

So adoption is really not for wimps. I saw this on a t-shirt at a conference and I am now realizing that this is SO true!

We get our updated wait list number tomorrow but we have also been given some new, disappointing news.

First, we were told  by our social worker that a large portion of the orphanages in Ethiopia have been shut down, which is increasing wait times. Where these children go and what "shutdown" really means I don't know. But our wait for an infant has been changed from 6 months to 9 months. We have already been waiting about 2 months so I guess we can assume we have 7 or so to go.

Second, we were told that we would travel within the month, possibly the next month, following our referral to go over to Ethiopia and have a court date to take custody of our child. Well, that wait has also been bumped from 1-2 months to 4-6 months.

Third, we were told that the wait between our first trip (court trip) and second trip (bring baby home trip!!) was about 6-8 weeks. We have now been told 8-12 weeks.

So all that to say, this adoption that we thought was going to take about a year start to finish isn't looking so quick and easy at this point. In a best case scenario situation according to these new facts it will be about 13 more months until we are home with our baby and could even be more like 16 months.

I am doing my best to be patient and I KNOW that people have waited much much much longer than this. But I honestly never thought we would be 7 months in and still looking at 13-16 months left. But it is what it is.

The awesome thing is that we both still know that God knows exactly who our little Jane Jordan is and when it's time to bring here home it will be the perfect time according to His plan.

So in the meantime, please feel free to join us in praying about our child, the perfect timeline, and what God is calling us to do in this season of waiting. :)

Thanks!!

Oh little weltie!

Weltie, Boodleton, Maxweltieboo, Boo Boo, Baby Weltine, Wells, Terry, Well-Well, or Welton.

Poor little Max, you have adopted some crazy nicknames from your family. But we love you SO much! Can't believe your sweet little, crazy, fun, smart, CUTE self has been with us for a year! I had no idea I could love a little baby so much! I love stopping by most nights after work and playing with you, I love feeding you and rocking you and kissing your face as much as possible. I love swinging with you on my swing, chasing you around to change your diaper and I love your visits and sleepovers at my house! I love that when people walk into my office and see your pictures they ALWAYS say "Your son looks JUST like you!" I'm glad me and your mom are twins! When that happens in public I just say thanks and claim you as mine (don't tell your mommy!) Thanks for letting me get some good practice in on you. I didn't know a thing about taking care of a baby until you came along! Can't wait for your cousing Jane to get here so you can play with her and teach her all you know!!

Love, Aunt KK & Uncle L :)

 Then....

and now! :) 

Worth sharing

I came across this post linked on another blog I check in with frequently. I haven't ever shared someone elses post but this woman specifically said to pass it along and I think this is heartbreaking and worth passing along. She's right that education is the most important thing when it comes to HIV. I don't know this family but I am glad they exist! :)

http://familyboulton.blogspot.com/2012/04/unvitation.html?spref=bl

Sometimes, Always......

Sometimes: I want to have tons of kids, adopted and biological, and fill up our house with as many kids as can fit!

Always: My husband reminds me to take one thing at a time, including kids! ;)

Sometimes: I try to eat really healthy and go all day on fruits, veggies and lean meat.
Always: I mess up around 7pm and eat something that throws the whole "healthy" day off.

Sometimes: Adoption scares me.
Always: I am reminded that it is not about me and faith needs to step in and fill the Gap.

Sometimes: I find myself annoyed that God has allowed by body, at least for now, not to do what it was created to do in creating a new life.
Always: I  known deep down that unanswered questions by God do not equal being forgotten by Him.
 
Sometimes: I wonder if "unexplained infertility" is really "God's timing" or if we are looking at something worse.
Always: I know that God's plans are WAY better than mine and I need to pray more and just chill out!

Sometimes: I love working and really enjoy my job.
Always: I love being home, cooking, cleaning, having lunch chats and coffee with close friends and taking care of my husband.

Sometimes: I get really mad when people ask me "Don't you want your own kids". That one sentence reduces my future children to "less" and it makes me sad. My adopted children and biological children will be equal and all my own.
Always: I am reminded that sometimes people just don't get adoption and I cannot get upset with people for what they do not understand.

Sometimes: I wonder if I will be an adequate mother to children of a different race and worry that I won't be able to raise them to respect and love their culture and themselves.
Always: I am reminded, mainly by my husband, that things will work out if our hearts are constantly seeking God's direction for them.

Sometimes: I want to go back to my natural hair color.
Always: I leave the salon blonder than when I walked in.

Sometimes: I drink diet coke at work to wake up and keep myself from eating junk food.
Always: I feel sick about the fact that I just ingested poison.

Sometimes: I worry about the idea of being responsible for learning how to do my little Ethiopian daughters hair.
Always: I get giddy excited about cute afro puffs with little bows matching little dresses and shoes!!!

Sometimes: I over think things and sometimes I am impulsive and don't think things through at all.
Always: Wish I could find a happy middle ground between the two.

Ok, I guess that's all for now. I saw this on a friends blog and thought it was a cute idea. Feel free to steal and post your "sometimes......always"!

Thanks pink eye!

So I went to bed with a red scratchy "allergy" eye and woke up with something a little worse. I ignored it and went to work and the was quickly sent to the doctor and home with pink eye. As gross as pink eye is I am so glad I was sent home(I was sent home like a little kid-literally told not to come back please hehe!)

Being home "sick" when your not sick is the perfect time for some forced productivity. So thanks pink eyes for helping me finish thank you notes, laundry, cleaning and thanks for helping me cook a yummy healthy dinner and even squeeze in a little jog!

Cooking is so nice when it's not rushed! Cleaning isn't so bad either when it's on a random wed afternoon. It feels good to be productive and not have to use the weekend for this kind of stuff!! Little Jane get here soon and we can play house all day together!! :)

And after watching little Maxwell Stone, I think I will really get to put my cleaning skills to the test daily when Jane arrives!! :)

Lunch break thoughts today....

(disclaimer....I was hesitant to post this....I wanted to make sure people know this is a journey for me and I am not there yet!)

So lately I have felt like God has been reminding me that this world is not my home. It has been a phrase bouncing around in my head for weeks now. So, I decided I would actually give some real thought to this idea and go refresh on what God says about this topic.

When I did this it hit me that God made this world for us to inhabit and when he made it it was supposed to be a perfect place for us to reside until he comes to take us away. It got me thinking about the fact that God intended for this world to be perfect for us. It was not supposed to be filled with evil.

However, something horrible happened and evil entered into the picture, instantly seperating this earth from the perfect place it was intended to be.

From my understanding of Christianity, nothing opposes God more than evil. Evil is by definition the opposite of God. If this is true, than I guess it would be safe to say that God opposes the world we live in.

It is crazy to me that this earth is something that God opposes. I know he made it beautiful and loves his creation too, but it actually kind of scares me that we live our day in and day out in a place filled with things God hates. This was a wake up call to me that I do not need to be taking this lightly. Satan roams free here. SO SCARY! The master of manipulation, greed, hate, shame, and destruction roams free in my backyard. All this to say, I have not had my guard up enough and God has reminded me that this is NO joke. We are in this world but are not of this world and when we start living here like this is where we belong we are in trouble big time!

I think the "society" we live in is really good at masking things. I think I have learned to take just about anything and make it look like a good thing or a normal thing. Even more, I try hard to be "normal". I have to wonder if living in this world and not being of this world gives us the freedom the completely scrap the word "normal". I am starting to wonder if "normal" by the world's standards is not only a little bit disobedient but possibly downright sinful? I know this sounds extreme.....but when you directly contrast this idea to scripture I think it is pretty clear.

I am not good at this....but will be doing my best to stop trying to just live MY life and start living like an alien among the pagans. I want to be very intentional to make sure I am following God's will for me. Not modern day, Sugar Land, Texas, Middle Class, Church of Christ will for me. I am not trashing this lifestyle or religion. I am not planning to sell my house and car and move to Africa by any means. But I am planning to try my very best to shed the cloud of our culture and try to see the clear simplicity of God's will for me. :)

I am posting this because it is something that has become so blurred for me and I bet I am not alone.
See verses below. I am going to be really thinking these over this week!

I think of these verses...."Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us."

And these....You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.  Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Happy lesson

My sister is in a class at church on Tuesday mornings and she shared a little bit of one of the lessons with me. She said the lesson was about family and children and the differences in every family. She said that it focused on people often asking the question of "why"? Why does my child have a disability? Why do I only have boys when I would love to have a girl? Why can't I get pregnant when I want to? Why do our children struggle with this when so many others don't?

She then followed it with this statement that just made so much sense to me. She said, "The family you have is the family God intended for you. It has already been decided and is what God sees as perfect for you."

I just love that. If it's the family that God intended for me, it is the perfect family. Whether it is through adoption or whether we end up with kiddos with special needs and our family ends up looking a bit different. It is a 100% perfect family because it is the family God intended for ME! Not for my sister or friend or anyone else. ME!

Believe me, when you are walking the non traditional road to parenthood and often ask, "Man God why do things look so different for us" these truths are such a great reminder and give me so much joy and excited anticipation to see what family God has intended for us! If different is what God intended for me why in the world would I ever wish for normal!

Easter Camping 2012

Just returned from our annual Easter camping trip. It was SO MUCH FUN! I love this tradition. Husbands and babies have been added over the years and we have many more little munchking that will be added next year too! It was so much fun getting to spend time with some of the most important people in the world to me. It was also fun getting to watch my wonderful friend Roxanne be a mommy to her two little girls. She is such an inspiration to me of what a Godly christian Mommy looks like!! I don't get to see her much so everytime I see them it seems like her girls have grown like crazy!!
We got some great swimming, hiking, talking, laughing, eating, and sleeping in (maybe just Lance and me) and I am already counting down the days until next Easter. We counted and we are anticipating 9 kids next year!! Can you say craziness!! I think so! Can't wait. There have been very few events where I have been able to say, "Jane will be here next year" but I do think she will be here by next Easter. I cannot wait for her to jump into this family tradition!

We missed the Blackburns, Campbell's and Goforths! Our group was a bit smaller this year, but it was also great to have some good "catch up" time with the Bradford fam!! Next year we will all be back together again! Can't wait!! :)

Max in his "cage" playing

Rox and her little Cameron

Betho enjoying some coffee

Cody playing with the munchkins

Lance loving on little cameroonie

Me and the little silly monster

Best friends for over 15 years!! Love these girls so so so much!!

#32 or #33 I don't know :)

I posted #33 on facebook and #32 on here. I was told on the phone #32 and was told on the official email list #33. Who knows! But I have been asked to keep some people updated right away hehe so thats where we are! :)
On a different note, I am SO pumped about Max's first birthday. A good friend of mine reminded me to soak up all these nephew moments, because no matter how much I want to, I won't be able to spend as much time with him once Jane is here. I'm trying hard to stop and enjoy the life that I am living at this very moment. Trying to soak up as much maxwellie time as I can, and just overall time with Lance and my family. I don't want to wish away any phase of life, because once it is over it is over.

I am bad about this. I am the kind of person that thrives on change, I love moving, changing jobs, redocorating the house, and doing anything else that provides something "new". But there have been definite times in my life when a chapter has ended and I have thought..."Man I wish I would have stopped and enjoyed that time".

So that is my goal. I have a suspicion that God has some big stuff planned for the Agan family and I can't wait to see what it is. But right now I need to thank him every day for the happy, neat and tidy peaceful little life that I am living now. :)

#32

We are now #32. Not the most exciting thing ever, but better than not moving at all right! I had a long phone conversation with our agency and here is what I got as far as waiting goes right now.

She said that the the people waiting for infants that are about to be matched have been waiting for 9 months. All southern Ethiopian Orphanages are shut down and that has caused a bit of a slow down. She said that our dossier arrived and we were officially placed on the waiting list on Feb. 18th. So, if we are going by the notion that our wait should be no longer than 9 months we are looking at 7.5 more months of waiting. I was told that some months they have an influx of children and that some months they only have 2-3 come through which was the case this month. She said at times they have 10 referrals a month so we could drop from #33-#23 in one month. She said it is hard to give exact numbers b/c you never know how many children on any given month are going to come into the orphanages and be "adoptable". SO in a nutshell, if we have 7.5 more months to go we are looking at being matched with a baby in Oct-Nov. It could be sooner I suppose too. She did say that she had a family that was #20 and got a referral the next week b/c they got so many babies in. This is not typical however, I am not going to underestimate the power of prayer!! Please join us!! :)

Adoption video :)

I think we figured out how to post our adoption video. Here is our story so far! Can't wait until we can finish this story!! :)

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com