A couple of weeks ago Lance's brother Reid set up an awesome fundraiser for us! He goes to a small, home based church in San Antonio called re:church and they had a dinner for us to raise awareness and raise money for our adoption. It was SO GREAT! No one in the entire church, with the exception of Reid, knew us and they were so generous. Mario and Maria and their awesome son Andres (SO CUTE), worked themselves to the bone getting a fabulous, homemade meal together for us. Maria had cute little touches everywhere and it was SO cute! Maria even went onto my blog and made a poster from a print I am putting in the baby room. I didn't take my camera and was only able to snap a few shots with Lance's phone. We had so much fun meeting all the wonderful people at Reid's church. Thanks guys!!! We were so encouraged by all of you!!
This past weekend I attended an adoption retreat in Atlanta. It was really good. I have taken a lot away from this weekend and ironically the majority of what I am taking away has little to do with the ins and outs of international adoption and a LOT to do with my heart.
My first morning at the retreat a woman spoke about refinement. This is not a word I use much and I haven't ever spent much time defining this word. We didn't spend much time talking about refinement but I prayed that morning asking God to " Take ME away and replace it with YOU." I have decided that my heart cannot truly be refined until all the desires of ME are gone and replaced with the desires of HIM. I am making that my new definition of "refined".
As the weekend progress, as awesome as it was TRULY, some very real emotions and feelings were surfacing in my heart and I clearly heard God tell me that my heart cannot be refined until I face some of these emotions that He surfaced this weekend. Which I had NO idea even existed or existed to the extent that they do. It amazes me that God knows the deepest part of my heart even more clearly and fully than I do.
I sat in our last session this morning and these very specific words came to mind: 1. Anxiety 2. Pride 3. Arrogance 4. Fear 5. Control 6. Vanity 7. Envy These are struggles that have been hiding in the deepest part of my heart (some deeper than others) that I have been unable to address and make peace with because quite honestly I was unaware they were so present. I am thankful God has surfaced these dark parts of my heart and with his HUGE unending amount of grace I know he will help me work through and get rid of every last one of these nasty words mentioned above. Although I am not new to my journey with God, I feel like He has taken our relationship to a whole different place. I now know a father that wants what is best for me AND wants to use me for His glory. Up until recently I had a hard time believing the two worked together. I would find myself feeling like I was driving on empty and God continued to ask more from me. But each day I am realizing more and more that He loves me and cares deeply for my heart.
Out of curiosity while waiting in Atlanta airport I goggled "refine". Here is what I got: Refine: with impurities or unwanted elements having been removed by professing. The next definition was: In the process of purification.
So that is me right now. In the process of purification. In the process of having the pure heart God intended for me.
In the meantime I am going to need some time to process all that has filled my brain about orphans, adoption, and faith. I am on overload right now and really wouldn't know where to begin!
But I will say that I fall in love with adoption more and more every day! I know this is what our family was created for from the beginning of time. I get asked a lot about biological children and have even been asked recently, "Don't you want your own babies too?" I understand this question and am beginning to understand more and more that adoption is not a calling that is placed on everyone's heart. This weekend a women put it so very clearly. She said that there is an obvious need for people to address the orphan crisis and believe me it is a CRISIS!! But then she said this: A need it there. A need will always be there. However, A NEED-A CALL=TROUBLE and a NEED+A CALL= TREASURE.
Here are some scriptures I have had on my mind lately:
Romans 10:17-18 Consequently faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
Ephesians 4:1-7 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. [2] Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. [3] Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. [4] There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called—[5] one Lord, one faith, one baptism; [6] one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. [7] But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.
Philippians 2:1-30 Imitating Christ’s Humility If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, [2] then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. [3] Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. [4] Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. [5] Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: [6] Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, [7] but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. [8] And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! [9] Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, [10] that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, [11] and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Shining as Stars [12] Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, [13] for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. [14] Do everything without complaining or arguing, [15] so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe [16] as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. [17] But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. [18] So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
These passages above speak so clearly to me and our life right now! I encourage you to read them too and see how God is speaking to your life. Because whether it is adoption, caring for the poor or 1,000 other possibilities, God has a BIG plan and purpose for your life. He loves us so much and knows are truest, deepest sense of joy and purpose comes when we serve him!!
And to address the "don't you want your own baby" question my answer is, Yes I want to experience pregnancy one day and have the opportunity to nurture a child from birth, however Jane Jordan is "our own baby" and will always be 100% equal to any biological child we may have. Our family will follow God 100% and consider whatever children he places in our life a gift!! We are not promised anything, not even children, and consider our little Ethiopian angel such a precious, wonderful, miraculous gift because God created her and she IS a miracle! :-
This video was brought to my attention last week and I just sat down and watched it. I won't even go into detail about my feelings about this video but I think it is one everyone needs to take the 8 minutes to watch.
Ok, wow long post huh!? I will stop now! :) Happy Monday!
My roomie Lindsey! We had SO much fun getting to know each other. I am so grateful that we were connected through our blogs! :)
View from our room! So beautiful!! :)
Some new friends. I met so many people with so many different stories that led them to adoption. It was so easy to connect with all the girls I met this weekend and it was so refreshing to be around 400 other people who shared my heart for adoption.
I have been crazy busy lately. Funny how I seem so much more busy now that I am off work. Who knows! We have had a lot of great stuff going on. I am getting on a plane in the morning to go to the Created for Care adoption retreat and can't wait. I will update the blog on our happenings as of late soon!! Happy almost weekend!!
We had a fun night out this weekend at a restaurant in Houston called The Blue Nile. A month or so ago I posted on my blog that our agency wanted us to go out and learn about Ethiopian food. My friend Brittnie posted on my blog that she would love to go try Ethiopian food with me, so we made it a date. Brittnie and her hubby along with my sister and her hubby all went to the Blue Nile and had some very interesting food. I really do intend to make it a priority to learn how to make Ethiopian food, but it will definitely be a struggle. I haven't all together mastered cooking in my 5 years of marriage and new things are not always a huge success!
But the food was very yummy! I had lamb, Lance had some type of ground beef with greens and cheese and I don't remember what all else was eaten. But it was all very very good. The extra interesting part was that they didn't serve your food with silverware. They brought out a spongy type of bread, I think it was called Injerna, and you used that to scoop up your food. I was loving it. I was also probably a bit of a creeper, b/c I could not help but stare at all the beautiful Ethiopian servers and wonder if Jane was going to look like them one day. They were such beautiful people! We had a really fun night, however I guess we showed our true colors at the end of the night b/c we went to Dairy Queen for a blizzard! :)
I cannot wait to celebrate her culture with her. I often wonder if she will be very proud and want to share her culture and background with others, or if she will want to blend in. I hope we do a good job of making her want to celebrate her differences! I want that for her. :)
Notice Lance's "fork"
The other side of the table enjoying their food. Bethany actually got a crazy dish that was like 6 things mixed together.
We decided that we should make it a monthly international dinner night and try a different type of food each month. I think the decision for next month was Greek food. Can't wait! :)
On a different note I was looking through my camera and realized that I never posted any Christmas pics. I only took about 10 and 5 of those would probably get me killed if I posted them on the blog. They were all taken at about 6am. But we had a great Christmas with the family. We got together with the whole huge group one night which was crazy, kids running everywhere and lots and lots of fun! Christmas eve was a little more low key with the cousins and aunts and uncles. Christmas day half of our extended family was unfortunately hit with RSV and the kiddos were all SO sick. It was awful and took a while for everyone to bounce back from that. Due to the illness we weren't able to get together with our extended family so Lance & I, the Girods and my parents literally spent all day (I mean 6am-midnight) at my parents house watching basketball, playing games, playing on the wii, going for walks (yep in our pj's) and eating TONS and TONS of food. It was an AWESOME AWESOME day!!
This was the day after Christmas. The Girods came over to our house and we took little Maxwell to the park. It is still surreal that they live here. Betho and I went and ran errands right after this pic and were both just laughing the whole time about how crazy it is that we are actually "running errands" together and live 10 minutes apart. I never thought that would happen!
Max opening his Santa presents at my Mom's house
Little snow bunny came over to Aunt KK's house to ice sugar cookies!! This is one of my favorite pics of him. He looks SO CUTE!
Today is my sister's birthday. Not Bethany, but my other sister, Roxanne! We are not related by blood, but are sisters. I wrote this on her facebook wall, but I could not do life without her. We live in different places now, but will be "doing life" together for the next 60 years! Roxanne is my constant encourager, shoulder to cry , person to laugh hysterically with, and just all around wonderful friend who is always there for me! She is always seeking to be the best wife and mother possible and is on a never ending journey to seek the Lord and grow closer to him with everything she is and does. She has been blessed with many gifts, but what stands out the most is her ability to love othes. Jesus says all over the bible that loving others is the greatest, most important thing we can do here on earth. Rox is bursting every day with the love of Jesus and it shows. Everyday! So refreshing!! I love you Rox and am SO thankful for your 27 years on this earth. SO SO many people are blessed with your presence!!
All adoption papers are now sent!! The crazy, busy part is finally over! Such a relief! And if that wasn't exciting enough my last day at work before my transition to my new job is tomorrow and I am SO looking forward to some time to myself in between jobs. I will have 3 weeks off which will give me some free time! I am looking forward to more quiet time in the mornings and afternoons, more time to cook, more time to clean, more time to work out and more time with my hubby and friends and family I need to catch up with!
I emailed our agency and asked what I needed to do next and her reply was, "Once we get your dossier, it will make its way around the US getting sealed. (UT...Washington DC-US embassy-ET embassy...UT again...then ETHIOPIA!!) At that point you will be on the wait list for a referral. YEAH! Do a happy dance! :)" If you know me at all you know I of course did a happy dance!! I know the real hard part is still to come but I feel so accomplished knowing I completed all this craziness that they call the "paper chase". I mean, it was hard work. It was hard juggling work, buying a home, changing jobs, Lance changing jobs, and going through some emotionally and physically difficult fertility stuff. But we did it. Of course we did. Jesus told us to do it. I'm so glad we listened and let him push our faith to points farther than it has been pushed before. We are filled up to the brim with love for our precious little Jane Jordan!!
We would like our friends and family to continue praying for this adoption with us. If you could specifically pray for:
1. The health of this child's mother as she carries her. Pray that her mother continues to feel God's presence in her life and pray that she is experiencing peace. 2. Pray that Jane's mother has food to eat and a safe place to sleep. 3. Pray that Jane's mother has friends and family in her life to help her in this journey. 4. Pray that Baby Jane is getting the nourishment that she needs and is developing into the perfect little girl God is forming her to be. 5. Pray for our ability to continue to have the ability to finance this adoption. We have been floored, absolutely floored at the response we have had in this area. However, we have a ways to go and are still only 50% there as far as fundraising goes. 6. Pray for Lance and I and give us wisdom as we prepare our hearts and our home for welcoming this little one who may have lots of unknown needs. 7. Pray that we will become parents naturally and know how to transition into this role.
We got a call from our agency today telling us that we forgot to sign a form and that my employer forgot to sign something too. But hey, we sent them 38 notarized forms and 25 pgs of education, so that's not too bad. If this was school I would have gotten 96%! I am going to get the missing signatures from my employer and get our stuff all fixed and resend Monday morning. So instead of our papers heading towards Ethiopia tomorrow it will be next Wednesday. No biggie! I KNEW I would mess something up! I guess our papers needed to be in just a few days later in God's timeline! That is my new motto for this adoption. When something happens I am choosing to believe it is just lining us up with the perfect baby! :)
But we are so happy to know that we are about to be on the notorious "wait list". In the mean time we are just waiting for our fingerprinting appointments with the FBI and then I guess Lance and I will just sit and stare at each other for the next 6-7 months until they send us a picture of our baby! ;)
Other than that not much else going on. I am wrapping up my last two weeks at my job before I make the switch to my new job. In between jobs I will have 3 weeks off!
On Jan 28th I am heading to Atlanta for an adoption retreat (Created for Care). I am going to have 3 days to sit and soak up wisdom from christian women that have been at this for a long time! I am rooming with a sweet girl that I have yet to meet, but that has two little twin girls that she adopted domestically and they are SO CUTE! I am so excited to meet this new friend. God aligned our paths in a really cool way and I think we are destined to be friends.
I will need to post about the SUPER cool story about even getting into this conference some other time. But it was nothing short of miraculous! :)
I thought I would add a few pics of Jane's Christmas toys from her family for all to see! I'm thinking she already has a pretty big fan club. And of course some pics of my fav little man Max. He has been a sick little munchkin and it is SO sad! But of course, still 100% cute as can be!!!
That's all for now. I hope everyone is enjoying their week post Christmas!
A couple of weeks ago Lance's brother Reid set up an awesome fundraiser for us! He goes to a small, home based church in San Antonio called re:church and they had a dinner for us to raise awareness and raise money for our adoption. It was SO GREAT! No one in the entire church, with the exception of Reid, knew us and they were so generous. Mario and Maria and their awesome son Andres (SO CUTE), worked themselves to the bone getting a fabulous, homemade meal together for us. Maria had cute little touches everywhere and it was SO cute! Maria even went onto my blog and made a poster from a print I am putting in the baby room. I didn't take my camera and was only able to snap a few shots with Lance's phone. We had so much fun meeting all the wonderful people at Reid's church. Thanks guys!!! We were so encouraged by all of you!!
Maria sent us home with tons of personalized things with quotes and scriptures about parenting. SO sweet! :) 
This has nothing to do with the dinner, but I found this on the phone and laughed. Betho told me that the other night Lance came in, picked up Max and disappeared into the back of the house. I guess they were taking a photo shoot. Look at that rosy little face. I love those guys!! :) 
Cute little touches everywhere
Empty pans of homemade pasta. Yummy!
Maria sent us home with tons of personalized things with quotes and scriptures about parenting. SO sweet! :) 
This has nothing to do with the dinner, but I found this on the phone and laughed. Betho told me that the other night Lance came in, picked up Max and disappeared into the back of the house. I guess they were taking a photo shoot. Look at that rosy little face. I love those guys!! :) 
Cute little touches everywhere
Empty pans of homemade pasta. Yummy!
