First time mom's are crazy. I know this from personal experience!

This has been on my mind lately, as I have had a new wave of friends have first babies and it has reminded me of how HARD it is to become a mom for the first time. And how crazy we are as first time  moms. Yes, all of us. The laid back people and the high strung ones. The organized and messy ones. The calm and the ones hyperventilating. We are all a little over protective, over emotional and over exhausted. We are just a little nuts. It can't be avoided. So for any new mommy who has ever felt bad or embarrassed or been the recipient of a not so nice comment from a "seasoned" mommy who has clearly forgotten what it's like to all of a sudden be responsible for keeping another human alive for the first time, I will leave you will a few of the crazy things I did as a first time mom, that I am honestly just remembering now that fog is finally lifting! Enjoy. 

1. I took both girls to the ER because I left them in the car with the garage door down and the car running on accident for 2 minutes. Yes, I ran into the ER with my two infant twins. They were hooked up to pulse oxomiter machines and monitored for carbon monoxide poisining. Over reacting!? Likely. 

2. I hooked up video monitors in my bathroom so I could watch their every move while I showered. Yes, they were only 4 weeks old and had the loudest screams known to man, but clearly they could have learned to walk and jump off the swings and plummet to their deaths in the 4 minutes I took a quick body shower right!? 

3. I had a total and complete breakdown because we realized Lance accidentally washed the bottles in the dishwasher with laundry detergent instead of dish soap. Like, I called the pediatrician freaking out about them ingesting chemicals through the lining of the bottles! 

4. I spent hours reading about the difference between spitting up and vomiting. Then called my mom friends and asked them what they thought and then hit back up baby center to obsess a little more. 

5. I tried to let my girls "cry it out" and sat outside pacing on my porch with my mom sobbing because I was SURE they would be scarred for life from this type of neglect and abuse. Just SURE they would never be functioning members of society. And we (I) never succeeded and I subsequently fed babies at night until their first birthday! 

6. This one I don't remember, but when asking Lance what he remembered about me being a nut in the beginning he said that once he turned off the car before we opened the doors and got the girls out and I went into a 20 minute lecture about how it only takes minutes, MINUTES for a baby to die in a hot car, all the while running to open the doors to save them from the 35 seconds of un air conditioned time in the car. 

7. I kept a log of what side each baby nursed on each time since I nursed them at the same time and was adamant about always switching sides each time for each feeding because I read that nursing a baby on the same side each time could make them cross eyed. Just typing this is making me LOL!!!! 

8. A man in a drive through got annoyed and started honking at me because I had to put the car in park and get out to pick up my credit card that fell when I was reaching to put a paci back in a babies mouth. And instead of just letting it go I actually went to his window and "spoke" to him. That's all I will admit about this encounter. 

And now let's talk about the exhaustion. Some nights I slept for 2 hours total. And this would go on for days on end. I would wake up and look in the mirror and just start laughing. Not a joyful, happy laugh. More like a crazy person, who is so delirious she just laughs. And then searched for nipple shields, and nipple cream all the while trying to latch on two screaming babies while watching my husband walk out the door for work which may as well have been China because that's what it felt like. 

Once I fell asleep in the shower. Once I fell asleep while nursing and fell off the couch and Lance was luckily there to catch the baby. Once I fell asleep at an out door birthday party behind my sunglasses in a lawn chair surrounded by people. Just sayin. 

So moms know you aren't alone. It is so hard and so scary in the beginning. Unless you are wanting to harm your baby, I'm going to go ahead and say that just about every thought, behavior and emotion is justified. It will pass. You will sleep again and you will eventually be able to stop obsessing about how to keep them alive and can move onto how to keep them from melting down every time you take anything away from them or how to keep them from jumping off tables. I'm thinking it doesn't ever get easy, but you will start to feel like YOU again before you know it and may even be able to stay awake at birthday parties and in the shower!! 

And most importantly you will be able to laugh at the crazy and embrace it joyfully! So hang in their! Go with your gut, and know you totally got this!!!

I will be reminding myself of all of is when I re-enter this world again when our third finally arrives. :) 

Can we say tired face/greesy head!? 

Perfect little family that has it all together and just adores their children. No. I cried before AND after this photo shoot. But, yes did & still do adore those nuggets!!