Zoe and Nora are such sweet little girls and are starting to smile a lot and really interact with us. When a particularly good mood strikes both girls at the same time we get to enjoy tummy time and they love to lay on their play mat and look at books and toys. They have become much more alert and will follow you all around the room with their little eyes smiling at you. It makes even the hardest days worth it. They are great little eaters and sleepers and I would say we have gotten lucky with that considering we have two. They still love to be outside and even the worst of meltdowns can usually be quickly remedied by a session of singing on the porch swing. They both love to be cuddled and would spend the entire day in my arms or in the sling if they could. Zoe continues to be our more outgoing, alert one and typically stays awake longer stretches during the day, sleeps longer at night, and usually eats a little more as well. Although she started out exhausting us with her screaming, she has transformed into a very predictable, very very easy baby. She will sleep 6-7 hour stretches at night (maybe longer...not sure bc she eats when Nora eats) and just eats, sleeps, and plays all day with very little problem. However, when Zoe does have a problem the neighbors can probably hear her shrill scream. That is until she goes hoarse from screaming so loud! :) Nora continues to be our calm little baby and only gets super worked up when she is really hungry and every evening from about 6-9 (more on that later). She loves to be held and although she is quiet in volume compared to her sister she never stops squeaking or grunting around. She has reflux and we are working hard to get her feeling good! But she has the biggest smile and will look up at me often with her huge blue eyes while nursing or taking a bottle and give me the biggest smile! Its precious! Both girls have come to love the car, bathtub, and laying in their vibrating chairs. We also just introduced the swing and they seem to like that too. Pretty much they are just awesome and we love them so much!
As wonderful as they are I will have to admit that some things have just been downright hard. Here are a few things that often make my days really exhausting.
-The girls are quite different and have different needs. Keeping twins on the "same schedule" sounds great in theory but when they go through growth spurts at different times, and are sleepy and hungry at different times as a result it can be hard. Trying to decide to "wake or not to wake" a sleeping baby just because sister is hungry can be a hard decision. However, when I have decided to let each baby dictate their own day I have found myself feeding a baby every hour or so and that's no fun for anyone. My personality is not one to make a baby eat on a schedule, however I have had to just accept the fact that I can't be the kind of mom who just nurses on demand when a baby wants to eat. Its been a hard reality/adjustment for me.
-Nursing is hard! The actual nursing part has been pretty easy, they eat very well and are growing great. However, nursing both at the same time and then trying to burp one baby while the other is still trying to eat isn't easy. However, if I unlatch a baby because sister is burping she screams. But I get it! Who wants to be forced to quit eating just because their sister is! We also hit a patch where Nora wanted to wake up at 4am and eat and then again at 7am when Zoe woke up for the day. Its hard to decide to nurse or give a bottle and if I nurse one baby at 5am I have to pump what the other baby didn't eat, however I then run the risk of that baby waking up minutes later. So I give the pumped bottle...but still, it's a lot to consider at 5am and I may or may not have given the pumped bottle to the baby who just ate and then spend the next hour trying to figure out why one threw up and one was still screaming. I mean maybe. ;) My goal was six weeks for nursing and we made it so my next goal is 3 months. We think Nora may have some milk allergies so I have cut all dairy from my diet. We will see if this helps some of her tummy trouble. But yes, as of now we are nursing or doing a pumped bottle 100% of the time.
-Colic sucks. Nora has what we can only assume is Colic. She screams her cute little head off every evening from about 6-9. It is really sad to watch and sad for Lance because he literally walks in the door...I hand him a baby and we usually don't experience much silence until they go to sleep anywhere from 8:30-11:00. We both have baby K'tan slings now and usually eat dinner and do all our evening stuff with babies on us. Its pretty cute I must say!!
-Pooping. Our girls are have a hard time pooping. We will experience 3 blissful days of happy babies and then on "poop day" things tend to fall apart. They just don't seem to have mastered the art of pooping easily and are in lots of pain until it passes. My doctor assured me this will soon pass. Thank goodness!
-Sleep. The girls are good sleepers. They really are. However, as with everything the fact that there are two of them adds some difficulty. They are typically eating around 8:30 and will fall asleep around 10:30pm. They then get back up around 3am to eat and then again around 6:30 for the day. Our goal at each middle of the night feeding it to be back in bed within the hour. Its a contest we play with ourselves each night...sometimes we win and sometimes we lose! I go back and forth about feeding them one more time at 10:30 but it is usually when they have just hit that deep sleep and it doesn't seem to affect things. They usually get up at 3:30 regardless. We are usually in bed around 11pm and then back up at 3 and then back in bed around 4. However, Nora is up a LOT in the night crying in pain and I cannot bare leaving her alone so most mornings Nora joins the party around 4am and I am usually up so I am very tired most all the time. Zoe doesn't like to be left alone either and will often cry out until I pick her up. I would like to start to let her just work that out on her own a bit but once Nora is up she is UP so I usually rush to quiet Zoe in the night, likely just continuing to teach her that if she screams I will come rushing and get her out of bed! But I am just waiting for that glorious day when I wake up at 6am and no one woke up in the night! I pray for this daily so I know it is coming soon!
- Me. I have been one of the hardest parts of all this! It sounds odd I know, but I have had a really hard time adjusting to some things and having to alter my expectation of motherhood/my personality. I waited so long for these babies and in my mind I was going to spend my days loving and cuddling the girls, holding them all the time, and just pretty much just hanging out with them. I have had so many friends with one baby and they would describe the blissful days they spend with their babies in the first few months. I imagined very little crying because I would attend to their ever need quickly. Being a mom who is adopting as well I have done my fair share (ok...way more than that) of reading on attachment parenting and I just assumed I would follow that method with the girls. I would do my best to feed them before they were hungry, let them sleep with us if they cried, and pretty much just attend to their every need ASAP. HA!!! That's all I can say about this!! Let me tell you, I was in for a rude awakening. With twins someone is ALWAYS crying, someone is usually hungry, usually wet or dirty, usually needing to be held and they just have to wait. The only way I can describe our days is that it is just maintenance. Pretty much just trying to keep them alive! :) We get up, change diapers, move on to the huge nursing pillow and nurse both girls for about an hour start to finish, change more diapers, burp again because Nora has to burp a lot with her reflux, then try to settle both babies on my lap, sometimes try to manage to get both happy in my arms so we can rock, play a little if they are in the mood, then try to settle them both to sleep when they get fussy and if I get lucky squeeze in a pumping session to try and keep up the ever growing needs of these girlies. Then...well, it's time to start over because they eat every 2.5-3 hours. So it has definitely not been the blissful picture I imagined. It has been wonderful and I love every second, but I have had to accept the reality that no one baby can have all my attention and this has caused lots and lots and lots of tears from this mamma. But it's getting better!
Here are the things that have made ever second of the extreme sleep deprivation and stress worth it!
-Smiles. They both have the cutest, biggest smiles and I get flashes of big gummy grins all day!
-Baby sounds. They have both started cooing and babbling a bit and the sound of their little voices melts my heart. I can't even describe how sweet it is!
-Learning their personalities. I have loved seeing the differences in my girls and learning all about them. I love that Nora likes me be rocked really fast in the rocker at night and likes for me so say "shhhhh" in her ear until she falls astleep. I love that she likes to lay on my chest in the night when her reflux starts bothering her. I love that she will look up at me and smile when I am feeding or changing her and I love that she likes to snuggle close to me in the sling. I love her little baby sounds and her sweet nature. I love that she is sweet and patient and seems to be just the perfect little personality to have a life where she has to share her mommy. I love that even though she is often very uncomfortable with her tummy issues and reflux, that she is a happy child. I can tell she has been given the gift of patience and calmness. She is going to be one awesome little girl!
I love that Zoe loves to be sung to. I love her super outgoing nature and need for lots of human interaction. I love that she prefers to be sung to and have her little head stroked when I rock her. I love that she cries out and is just telling us she wants us near and wants to be stroked or held. I love that her favorite thing is looking straight at you and smiling. She is one social girl! I love her sounds, she talks a lot and loves to be talked back to. I love her wild nature, and the way she eats like she is starving every time and screams like you have never heard the second something rocks her world. She gets over her fits within seconds so its more comical than stressful. I love that they are both so sweet and I can't wait until they start to notice each other. That will be too cute for words I think!
-Dressing them. I know this sounds crazy, but have I mentioned my dream in life was to have twin girls!? Getting them all cute in their matching clothes is too much fun!! They look pretty dang cute every day....however they spend most days in their matching jammies and I will realize that they have been in the same thing for days if we didn't go anywhere that they needed actual clothes! :)
So that's pretty much where we stand right now. We are doing great but are extremely exhausted and SO ready for these girls to take up the art of sleeping through the night. But we continue to thank God for the gift of them! Its a gift we didn't deserve and it gets more and more precious and wonderful everyday!!
Enjoy a few pics of our sweeties!! They're pretty cute huh!? ;)
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