BUT, been there or not adding another human to your family is CRAZY! And not just crazy because this little human will be coming from another country and will be the product of some hard stuff, but also because we are ADDING another person! When I put the whole adoption stuff out of mind, stop obsessing over fundraising and all the "what ifs" and just think about waking up each morning and changing three diapers, doing breakfast for three little people and then mommying THREE babes all day actually it gives me a tad bit of anxiety. Like anxiety about logistics. Like, I spend a LOT of time with a baby in each arm. I don't have a third arm. Just saying. On the flip side however, even if we were matched with a baby tomorrow we wouldn't have her home for the better part of 8 months SO two children or three I think my days of carrying around Z & N all the time will be done. But still. Crazy. Good crazy, but crazy nonetheless!
But on the flip side of the anxiety, I think of Z & N having a sister. I think of cheering over this new little one pointing to her nose and eyes and ears when we ask here to "find them" and waving hi and bye for the first time and I die of excitement! I think of having a new little bundle to rock at night, likely right around the time my current two will be about over mommy rocking them at night, and I die. So happy. I think about how hard it might be, but I also think about how much we will cherish every hug and smile and embrace because it will probably be a journey for all of us. Yes, I am anxious. But I am so excited too!
We don't know when we will be matched, but I mailed off every last update and even got the final draft of our homestudy today. Which is a story in itself. They were, ummmm, quite generous with their adaptation of our family! That or God really stepped in! I think it's the ladder, because I was astonished at how well the girls were during the homestudy. I truly think it was the best behaved they have ever been a day in their lives. Almost the second the social worker left they both ran outside in their beautiful little smocked outfits and jumped into the water table and then Zoe pushed Nora off into the mud and both started screaming. Yes, that's real life but man I am so happy that wasn't in the report!
But once that homestudy makes it's way across the country into the right hands we are a family waiting for "the call". So starting in about a week I will likely never have my phone more than a foot away from me! And as SO very sad as it is that once we are matched we will still be separated from our child for 8+ months, it's probably going to be a blessing that we are going to have about the length of a pregnancy to get our act together!
If you could please be praying for:
1. Wisdom for me as I learn how to parent my current two while trying to keep all this adoption stuff afloat
2. Fundraising. I think money was meant to be stressful. Pray that we can find a way to cover the rest of our costs that are still well over $15,000. Yikes!
3. Pray for our daughter. We don't know if she is born yet or not. But I would venture to say someone is pregnant with her right now at the very least. So much to pray for here, and so much loss to come for her and her family. It's hard for me to even know what to pray. So I just pray for her and her sweet mommy. I just know she has a sweet mommy and my heart breaks for her.
So there ya have it. My thoughts at 11:48 now turned 12:18! I'm officially going to bed!
Night night! :)
1 comment:
Praying for all that you mentioned!
And I know what you mean about growing that third arm. I mean seriously!!!
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