Getting ready for the munchkins!

So bed rest week one has passed and we are half way done with week two. It hasn't been awful. It hasn't been fun, but I have developed some tricks to help the days pass. I stay up really late reading and sleep in, my mom usually comes over to help with baby prep stuff and then I write thank you notes or watch movies and wait for Lance to come home. People have bringing food over too so it's been nice to have visitors.

The worse part is monitoring my blood pressure. I so desperately do not want this high blood pressure to turn into preeclampsia and it stresses me out to monitor it. It is creeping up a little each day and It kind of scares me. I have lots of questions about if they will give the babies steroid shots if my blood pressure goes too high or what the plan would be. I'm having a hard time really getting a clear picture from my doctor and I know it's because he probably has a plan and has his eye on it. I love my doctor though, and need to accept that even the best doctors can't predict the future. But I have a long list of questions for my appointment Tuesday.

I now go weekly for ultrasounds and non stress tests to make sure the babies are still growing and developing safely. This past week they got a 10/10 meaning all ten things they were looking at came back normal and they are still safe and growing. They told me I will stay pregnant as long as the babies are safer in than out and as long as I'm safe with my blood pressure. Apparently 34 weeks is a big milestone so I think I will be able to relax a bit once we get to Tuesday! Everything is great except my elevated blood pressure, which they call pregnancy induced hypertension and sometimes it can affect the babies. I'm praying to get to 36 weeks....but only God knows when these little girls will arrive! :)

Since I can't really do anything I literally have to boss everyone around from the couch. It's kind of hard for me since I like to be up and around and do things myself. But lance, betho and especially my mom have been so great at helping me get the baby stuff together. My mom has got things looking great, we are just about ready to have babies living here. Lance comes home too every night and gets my dinner ready and cleans whatever needs to be cleaned. He even clipped my toe nails last night! I'm SO SO lucky to have such a gigantic support system around me. Friends bringing me food, family dropping everything to help me. I feel very loved and these babies are very loved too!!

So if you need me...I will be here. Sitting on the couch. Feel free to come by and catch a movie! :)

Enjoy my large 33 week photo and another picture of Zoe. Nora continues to be hiding behind her sister and we cannot catch a glimpse of her little face for a 3D picture. All these ultrasounds though are a positive part of needing to be monitored closely! :)

Bedrest

So it looks as though my last weeks of pregnancy are going to be a bit dull. I am officially on bed rest for pregnancy induced hypertension. I noticed I was feeling weird at work last Thursday and had a nurse take my blood pressure and it was pretty high. I called and they told me it was ok as long as it didn't go over 140/90. I figured I would be totally fine because I have really low blood pressure and high for me has been around 120/80 during this pregnancy. Well, sure enough it kept going up...an up...and up and today was almost 155/95. I blamed it on my long walk into the office and the small flight of stairs I took in and rushing and no breakfast. But to no avail....I left today with a note for work saying my maternity leave is effective starting immediately and I am home bound. Well pretty much couch/bed bound. It's odd because when I am sitting its perfect but the second I move it goes up. However, from what I have read high blood pressure and pregnancy do not mix. They even explained to me today that if it stays up they will have to take the babies early and we are only 32 weeks and that would NOT be good. We need them in for a minimum of 4 more full weeks. Preferably 5-6 more weeks. So I will sit here like a lump for the babies but man I am not excited.

It's crazy how fast things can change. Up until now all I have heard is how great I am doing, how good my babies look, how good my blood pressure is and how it's great that I can still work with no problems. I have definitely gained weight but nothing too crazy and my diet has been ok. My only consistent "pregnant" bad habit has been ice cream, but its not like I have been eating it every night. All that to say I don't think I could have avoided this. My doctor said a Nobel prize would go to whoever could figure out what causes hypertension in pregnancy. Bethany developed this too at about 36 weeks and I guess I got to start early since its twins. I have been told all along that this is much more common in twin pregnancies. But it just really stinks. 

it's a perfect example of me thinking I can control everything and God just sometimes says no.

I had lots of plans to go see friends, maybe go on a little Houston staycation with Lance, and just enjoy things like weekends with friends and church on Sunday and small group as a family of  2. Plus it's hard to put your hubby to work the second he comes in from being gone for 12 hours....but a girls gotta eat! I'm sure we will find a routine. And I would hang from my toes for the next month if that was what the girls needed. But still, it's a little hard for me to wrap my mind around. 

Especially the financial aspect. We had a budget and that budget included me working 3 more weeks. So as you can see I am in the "wrapping my mind around this/accepting it" process and I'm sure ill get there. The #1 most important thing is the girls and I want them to be safe. The fact that I have to keep this blood pressure down for another month minimum worries me. But hopefully it will all be ok! I just have to trust. And I do. Please pray with us that these munchkins can keep on cooking until they are ready to meet the world!! :) I look forward to what God is going to reveal to me in this gift of time. Happy Monday. Feel free to pop in and say hello if you are bored....seriously....not kidding ;)

Baby shower & updates

Thought I would catch up a bit here. I am trying to be really good about "chilling" when I get the slightest bit tired and/or the Braxton hicks set in so I thought blogging was a good thing to do! :) To be totally honest, the idea of preterm labor is starting to worry me just enough to take the fact that I am carrying 7+ pounds of person in me and I'm not quite at 31 weeks yet very seriously.

I went to a nursing class and after learning about how it all works I was reminded how much easier nursing full term babies would be than teeny tiny babies. It's out of my control I know, but I want to do everything I can to keep them in until about 37-38 weeks.

We had our monthly ultrasound at 30 weeks with the baby doctor and everyone looked great. Babies are growing at just about the exact same rate and are both nearing 4 pounds. I think Zoe was in the 65% for size and Nora was 70%. So no growing problems...hoping when we return in 3 weeks everyone is still great! They measure fluid and all kinds of things to make sure that my body is still a good place for babies to grow and things were perfect! The one downside was that now we don't have one but TWO breech babies! I told the babies in the shower the night before to flip their little tooshies up and heads down but they apparently ignored their mother. :) Since they are so squished up we were told they were probably going to stay happily breech until delivery and that a c-section should be expected. Not thrilled...but have come to terms. :)

In the middle of the scan they were just looking at normal stuff and the tech said..."Oh this is a good angle for 3d" and switched the machine and there was Zoe's little precious face. She was so squished up....but it was such a wonderful surprise to see that little face. Nora was not as cooperative....but we will try again in 3 weeks at the next ultrasound! :) I thought she looked just like Max, then like a mix of me and Lance and now I am thinking she definitely favor's Lance. I guess time will tell! Eeeeek, exciting!!!

In other fun news, I had my church baby shower a few weeks ago and it was just the best thing ever!! Some of my sweetest friends worked so hard to make it perfect and it meant so much to me!! I cried all the way through church that Sunday completely overwhelmed with how blessed we are. Lances parents came in town that weekend and helped us with some house projects and we had a great time with them. I am so thankful for help because things are a lot harder for me than I anticipated at this point. I would die without Lance and my mom right now constantly seeing things that need to done and just doing it without me even asking. I am VERY lucky!!

Odd things have been getting hard for me. Like church. I don't know why but I am 100% exhausted when I leave church. It's probably all the standing to sing and stuff, but 2 hours at church without fail is much harder for me than a day at work. On the topic of work, I am now officially part time at work and don't work more than 4 hours a day. It's been great, because honestly I'm not sure I could do much more than that. But really my body is feeling pretty good. If I get tired I sit and then usually feel better soon. No big complaints like backaches or anything like that. Smooth sailing so far!

But here is my #1, terrible, horrible, no good very bad pregnancy symptom.....HEARTBURN!!!!! I'm not talking a little burning in my throat. I am talking 100% debilitating horrible burning pain that is now incurable! I take all the medicine I am allowed and it just doesn't do the trick. I was told that progesterone causes the muscles in the digestive system to relax causing heartburn and since I have double the hormones, I am just unfortunately going to just have to deal with double heartburn. But it is bad. I have to go to sleep every night sitting up. If I accidentally fall asleep laying flat, I wake up without fail chocking and throwing up on reflux. I have modified what I eat in the evenings and even stopped eating on most nights by about 5pm. Nothing helps. The worst part is that this is me and Lances last few weeks to sleep uninterrupted together in our room and I have to sleep in the recliner now to avoid (sorry to be gross) throwing up on him on accident. Not a pretty sight. I know people who have been pregnant with twins that never deal with this...but I guess I am just prone to this particular symptom. But again, I'll take it! Its all part of the fun right!? ;)

Other than that I am just stretching away and we are getting so excited about meeting these girls! It's all either of us can seem to talk about. And Jane of course, she is always in our conversation too. We are equally excited about that little munchkins joining the Agan fam!! We held tight at number 5 this month on the adoption. Not that the wait list is all that relevant at this point because we will be putting off our referral for a little while. But no conversation about life with all these girls goes by without talking about all 3 of our girls. Especially on the side of their father. We left my cousins little girls first birthday party and the first thing Lance said when we walked out was, "we need to have a HUGE party for Jane! We will do something fun for the twins but lets save the over the top huge party for little JB (that's what he calls her)". I love it and pray we can keep all this enthusiasm up amidst the exhaustion that is quickly coming our way. That's pretty much all that's up with us.

Enjoy some pics from my shower! I have "puffy" and "not so puffy" days and unfortunately my shower fell on a pretty "puff" day! Oh well. It was just so amazing and we are so lucky! :)

We are talking weeks people!!! :)

We are getting more and more ready for these babies each day! I kept feeling like things were just so far away and now it is starting to feel soon. Hopefully not too soon, but like 9 or 10 weeks soon! I mean 9 or 10 weeks!? Crazy!? We have been waiting for Jane for over a year and had been waiting to get pregnant for much longer than that. The fact that we are talking in a matter if weeks is just insane to me!! It's really just nuts!

My belly is very alive with babies! I see them moving all day every day and I love it! It is just the best thing ever!! The moving belly is the thing I will miss the most! I love having them with me every day. However, I'm very ready for Dad to meet his little girls and will be more than ready to welcome them to the outside world!!

I'm having my church baby shower next weekend and I am so excited! Like, really excited!! After that we can start really getting their little room ready. I also registered for a nursing class at the hospital (a fellow twin mom friend strongly recommended wrapping my mind around nursing BEFORE they arrive) and I am going to call and schedule our tour of the hospital. I dont totally see the point of that but why not right? Exciting times!! For now we are just doing random things at the house each weekend that need to be done like fixing broken light fixtures and organizing closets and stuff. I am definitely not moving very, ummm, gracefully these days so I have been trying to get things out of the way before I am carrying around 10+ pounds of baby!

A friend of mine the other day said she was thinking of me and how lucky I am that I am going to have TWO new babies looking up at me at the hospital. I have been thinking the same exact thing! The HUGENESS (is that a word) of this blessing is hard to even comprehend!! I really can't wait to see those two little faces looking up at me! :) I feel very blessed.

Ok off to start my weekend of relaxing with a little organizing thrown in there. I hope everyone has a great weekend too!!

26 1/2 weeks pregnant with the girls (long post warning)

Tuesday I will be 27 weeks pregnant with our little girls. It's pretty hard to believe. I feel like the first trimester crept along so slowly and now the weeks have been flying by. In just 10 short weeks these girls could be born perfectly healthy. I pray every night now for my body to be able to hold them in until they are 100% ready to be here.

I do fear that things are about to get a bit difficult. Pregnancy is starting to be really hard on my body. I am working about 4 hours a day, sometimes more, sometimes less and it is hard. My feet hurt so bad and I have reached a point of swelling that never goes away. It just fluctuates from scary looking to regular swollen looking! I have found that standing for long periods of time really hurts my feet. I have also developed some serious pain in the joints in my hands and when I wake up I usually have to run both hands under cold water for a while to get my fingers moving. It is related to fluid on the nerves in my wrists and I will be ready to get rid of that once these little munchkins are born!

Sleeping has gotten pretty hard too. Turning from side to side each night is hard. My belly feels so heavy! I usually wake up about 3 hours after going to bed with such awful heartburn that I usually switch over to the couch to finish up the night. Lance and I call it the "heartburn alarm". The heartburn has gotten better though. For a while anytime I would lay down after eating I would almost instantly throw up and would have to literally sit up for hours waiting to be able to lay down without getting sick. That seems to be subsiding a bit. Yay!

I have also seemed to get past my migraines!!! I am so thankful and praising God for this!! I feel like I have had some serious symptoms but I am thankful God has allowed them to be spread out! It has been hitting in waves and not all at once.

I noticed one tiny stretch mark and am waiting to wake up one day and see like a million. However, Iam super swollen, have already gained over 30 pounds and I have come to the conclusion that this is an unstoppable force that I can't control so I'm just going with it! Lance and I spend a lot of time laughing at my sausage feet/ankles, our living room turned bedroom and my ever changing belly. Which consists of the remains of a belly button piercing that is staring to look a bit scary!

 For the most part I hear from people how small I look for twins. It's funny because I feel HUGE and am measuring much bigger than 26 weeks! I know one day I am just going to pop out to an enormous size! :) We had our monthly visit with the specialist and Nora was weighing in at 2.3 pounds and Zoe was 2.1 pounds. She laughed, said they were big babies and then looked at me and said, "well, your long waisted hopefully that will help." The tech said they were growing like singletons and were in the 55% and 70% for size. Little Zoe seems to be pretty average size all around and her sister seems to be a little chunker! It was funny to watch the measurements and see the gestational age creep up to 29 weeks at 26 weeks pregnant! It kind of scares me that I will be carrying around lots of baby soon, but I am also very very thankful they are both growing well!!

 One of the best parts has been watching Lance morph into this girl daddy! He is soooo happy we are having girls. He used to say he wanted a son and is now 100% on the girl train. He stops me in stores to point out clothes and will just randomly tell me how happy he is that these babies are girls. The other night we were laying in bed and he just started telling me how happy he is that our babies are girls. I mentioned to him that I would be willing to talk/pray about changing our gender preference for our adoption if he wanted to and he would have none of that! He quickly said no and that Jane was our daughter. Don't try to take away Lances baby girls!! ;) It's been quite the experience so far, but such a miracle!! We are getting sooooo excited and cannot believe these little girls will be here so soon! We have so much to be thankful for. It's still very surreal. I will update with pictures soon. I dropped my phone in the toilet, not even my own toiler...yuck...and it is currently buried in a bowl of rice. We are crossing our fingers it dries out! But until then, no pics. Happy weekend friends!!

Jane Jordan

I thought I should give a much needed update on our little Jane. So here it is! :)

We are now #5 on the waiting list. This is just crazy to me and stirs up a lot of emotions. It is so exciting that we are moving quickly now. However, not much has changed on how long we will be waiting for her. As I have said before, we will likely be getting close to #1 by the time Zoe and Nora are born. Our agency likes there to be about a 6 month age gap between biological kids and adopted ones. So, we could accept a referral at just about anytime after our other girls are born depending on the age ranges, etc.

All that said, we don't know when we will be ready to accept a referral. Once you are matched with a baby it is about a 6 month process (in a good scenario) to be home with your child due to all the legal stuff and travel. Will we be ready to accept a referral when the girls are 3 months old since it will still be another 6 months until Jane will be home? I don't know than answer to that yet. I believe we will have them all home by the twins first birthday. I have thought that for a whole now. But I just don't know. It could be sooner or it could be later. We are going to see how we feel and how things are going before we make those choices. But there is no question as to whether or not we are still adopting her!!

It is a little sad in a way that we have come so close and it is now seeming like we are far again. However, I think it is going to be here before we know it!

We know so many people have been on this journey and supported us in soooo many ways and I want you to know we are still so thankful and this adoption is still a huge priority to us! Little Jane is our daughter just as much as the other girls and we are just as excited to meet her and become her mommy and daddy!!

We will keep you posted throughout the months and can't wait to see how it plays out!!! But God is in control and has been this whole time so we know this plan is perfect! Yay for more babies girls than we ever thought possible!!

23 weeks :)

Me and my "large" girls :)



Please feel no obligation to read these boring updates. They are more for family and those who like details! :)

Today was my monthly appointment. I am 23.5 weeks. They don't do much at these appointments at all but listen to the heart beats, and measure my belly and then I am done. Quick. However, my doctor today did mention that at my ultrasound at 22 weeks my babies were big. He actually said they were "large" and asked if we had big babies in our family. I told him about Betho's rather large children, and then told him how both Betho & I were pretty large too for preterm twins. SO, it looks like I am growing healthy, chubby girls. He said both are in the 70%  and I am assuming that's not all that common with twins. But I think big is good right? Who knows, but I am SO thankful they are growing at the same rate and look good! :)
I was talking to my mom and I don't wanna jinx it, but I think I have finally hit that second trimester "feeling good" mark. Everyone talked about how the second trimester hits and you feel wonderful. That just hasn't been the case for me. But my swollen feet and hands have gone away and my headaches have been much much better too. The heartburn is still a killer but I was just given the ok to take Zantac and it is a LIFESAVER!! All the cramping and braxton hicks stuff seems to be better too.

In other news, I was advised to quit my job due to the fact that I am not immune to the virus CMV which is obviously pretty bad for a developing baby and it is spead in places with lots of young kids. So wierd I know. Who has even heard of this right!? So if you think I have all of a sudden quit liking your child, I haven't and will be back to cuddling and kissing in 3-4 months! My last day at the school was last Friday and I was blessed to get a teletherapy (seeing kids via computer-aka skype therapy) job so I can work from home. However, last night I was hit with the news that they needed me to see kids via teletherapy in California, requiring me to obtain an additional license that could take 1-4 months. Well, I don't have 4 months and was in a bit of a panic. So it looks like I will be doing some part time work for some skilled nursing homes in the area for a while, which is my favorite setting by a long shot as a therapist. Hopefully I can get a good couple months of work in and save up some money so I can keep my plan to only work 2 days a week once babies arrive! :)

Speaking of jobs, Lance got a new job as well! I am so happy for him, and although he will be training for 10-12 months in Spring (not an awesome commute) this is truly the perfect fit for him. He will be working as a rep for a company called Ferguson and it really just fits him to a T. Way to go L!

I think as of now my version of "nesting" is more like talking all excess out of our spending (likely due to the above mentioned happenings)! And I must say by tweaking the cable, Internet, and a few direct withdrawal monthly expenses, I have already added a big chunk of $$ back into our bank account each month! I'm pretty proud of myself. Its CRAZY how things add up and I am going to do a much better job from now on about really looking into what we are spending!

Not much else going on. Getting more excited about these girlies each day! :) Happy Weekend!!