We are coming for you angel baby!!!!

And another unpublished part of our journey. 

(Night of the call!!!) 

I've got about two minutes to post because we are leaving town in a few hours for our last ever family of four trip! 

But we finally got the sacred call saying we have a court date in Ethiopia and will be leaving soon to meet our girl and go to court to officially make her an Agan always and forever!!!! 

I am on cloud 9. However, I am also kind of a mess trying to figure out how to coordinate a week long trip last minute out of country with two toddlers who definitely don't add much to the ease of planning. 

But, we will make it! We will be holding that sweet angel child so so very soon! I really cannot believe it. And as long as the wait has been, honestly it's been pretty seamless since our referral. We've miraculously gotten in before courts close and will have waited a little under 5 months post referral to going to meet her. We are definitely blessed!! We know others have not walked as easy of a path. We still have a few steps to go to finally have her adorable little chubby feet firm on the ground in Houston, Texas, but we are just so darn close!!!!

Thank you God for starting this story and now bringing it to completion!!! 

Ethiopia day 1:

Update: I'm just realizing these didn't upload in Ethiopia so I'm adding them to the blog. If you like order and reading things chronologically, sorry! 

We left DC mid morning after a lovely 24 hour vacation of sight seeing and yummy food. We were both pretty much on cloud 9, both so excited to meet our little girl and just really enjoying some toddler free time just the two of us!

After a bit of a mad dash to the gate, we boarded the plane. The flight was pretty uneventful, aside from the unfortunate fact that we didn't sleep at all.

We landed in Ethiopia and after getting some things arranged, set off to meet our girl. Unfortunately, Obama was in town this particular day and almost all the roads out of addis were blocked off for security. So we literally couldn't get out of town! I was really chomping at the bit at this point, and was also really starting to feel the 24 hours of no sleep, mixed with the crazy Ethiopian traffic and more exhaust and crazy driving than you can imagine! Our orphanage is in a rural area pretty far away from the main city of Addis. The car ride was no fun and as much as I just wanted to soak in Ethiopia, I was DYING to meet my little Sena Jane! 

About 5 hours later we were finally dropping our stuff off at our hotel and loading back up, toys in hand, to see our girl! 

After driving for what seemed like days earlier in the day, it felt like it was about 30 seconds and they were saying "we are here!" 

So, we got out and waited in a little front office kind of room. The director welcomed us and told me that I had a "face like Sena's" and motioned for us to sit down. They kept yelled out this little back window for a few minutes, periodically telling our translator things like "she is getting dressed" "she is getting a diaper". Then all of a sudden around the corner comes this tiny little baby girl with tiny little braids in her hair. 

All I could think was "she is so little!!" And what's odd is that she isn't little at all. But to me she looked like such a tiny little angel baby, I could hardly take it! 

Like labor, the events to follow were a blur. She was definitely scared of us and clung to her nanny for dear life. We later learned that this was her very favorite nanny. We talked to her and tried to lure her into our arms with a stuffed animal and sweet words. She wasn't sold on us one bit, however she was a trooper and let me hold her. Having that sweet baby finally in my arms is a feeling I can't explain. It just felt like a 1,000 pound weight was lifted off my shoulders. It wasn't going to be today or tomorrow or the next day, but my heart could finally relax knowing she has found her home.

We weren't able to spend all that much time at the orphanage. We played with several kids and were able to see her room and friends. We got in a few more sweet moments with Sena and could see her little personality starting to shine through! It was a great first meeting day! 

We left the orphanage and headed back to the lodge where we were staying. We were asleep in bed by 7:00pm. It was heavenly. We did wake up around 11:30pm to the sound of what had to be AT LEAST 50 monkeys directly above us, in our room with just screens and no fully closing windows, howling and screaming and making more noise than I've ever heard. I was officially pretty freaked out. But what is there to do other than just crank the sound machine up on your phone and pop a couple Tylenol pm. So that is what I did, and luckily my exhaustion won over my terror of the monkeys! 

Stay tuned for day two with our girl! 

Update-post that I realized failed upload in Ethiopia. So here ya go!

The little munchkin is sleeping and wifi is spotty here so this will be fast. 

Sena is doing wonderfully. She was terrified when we took her from the orphanage and seemed to handle this intrusion of her little life by sweating profusely (just on her face which indicates stress) and by refusing to let me feed her. It was a STRESSFUL night! She was well behaved and went right to sleep, but my mind was racing. Here lies this little girl who hasn't had a thing to drink in hours, hasn't had a wet diaper in even longer, has a monster fungal infection on her face and another mystery rash on her arms. I literally sat up in bed while she slept for hours. Like, 9 hours! 

The next day a new baby showed up. She actually gave into her hunger at about 3am and sucked down 2 bottles. That morning we were greeted by a sweet, smiling little angel. She took her bottle with no issues and then ate eggs and pancakes for breakfast. The little refuser of food had vanished. 

We got her visa that morning and then took her to the doctor. We learned that she did in fact have a ringworm on her head. Which we knew, but now we have medicine to treat it. So in about 24 more hours it should be dead and unable to be transmitted. This doesn't do much for me at all, as she insists on sleeping on my face. Literally. The things we do for our kids, right!? 

She is truly a lover!! She's so so happy and sweet and attaching so well to me! She even called me "mama" in the midde of the night. She loves to say "give me" in Amharic and has even picked up a few English words. Kids are amazing. She has said, "hi" "bye" "mama" and "baa baa (sheep in a book). She's remarkable smart, inquisitive and happy! I'm so excited to see her in the mix with her sisters. 

She is definitely experiencing grief. It seems to manifest at night. She sleeps fine, but is restless. She is also literally cutting 10'teeth. I've never seen anything like it. Her gums are swollen and even bleeding a little. She refuses to let me give her medicine and in the interest of maintaining the status of a safe, non threatening person to her I'm not forcing it. But we had our first meltdown as she was dealing with her itchy, healing ringworm, constipation from this world of food outside of pasta and rice and a monster version of super teething. It was sad and I felt pretty helpless as she tried to use the few little amharic words she has to communicate with me and all I could do was rock her and offer a bottle while she screamed! 

But, she is napping now and we are in awe of this little gift from God!! She is a strong, resilient little girl and we are so blessed to be her family! 

I can't wait for Lance and the girls to meet this little ray of sunshine! She's a different baby than the one Lance and I met last month! 

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

iPhone dump

A picture is worth a thousand words. Right? ;) 

MONDAY:

Toy store to buy chalk and paint. Has to ride the horse of course! 

Afternoon play date with one of our favs. 

Zoe being the sweet angel that she is 24/7 and singing Sena to sleep! 

TURSDAY: 

Attack of the Agan ear infections strike again. The victim was Nora this time. 

WEDNESDAY: 

Watching our cinnamon toast bake. 

Early one up today. This is about 2 episodes of Daniel tiger and three cups of coffee for mama later. 

Painting fun. 

THURSDAY:

Had to snap a shot of sweet pea before waking her up for sissies school party. 

Fruit feast at the preschool. 

Sena being cute. Duh. 

FRIDAY: 

It's called do anything you can to

Survive until daddy comes home for the weekend! 

SATURDAY:

So much love. So so so much love. 

SUNDAY:

Decorating, umm destroying, the Christmas tree! ;) 

Sister love. 

"Hey daddy does this make you nervous?" I kept telling them that they were making me nervous so they began to ask with every ornament if they were making me nervous. Silly girls. 

Realized Zoe is allergic to peanuts too. Omg. At least we didn't end up at the E.R.! 

Reading by the tree before bedtime. It's like a marathon to get all teeth brushed, everyone settled with their beverage of choice, jammies on, blankies, and lovies distributed, but then it's sweet sleepy baby calmness and I'm in heaven! 

So there is a snap shot of or week. Insert a few timeouts, Sena biting someone, Nora pulling Zoe's hair and Zoe whining more than any one human should be subjected too. Because well, they are 1.5 & 2.5! But all in all its was a great week. With great kids and we are ready to take on the one to come! 

Part two :)

Drive home. So sleepy. Girls dancing in matching jammies. Lots of giggling and laughing. Sena seems right where she needs to be. Hard to recall the night. Sena up for the day at 3am. Lance makes her eggs. Her love language is eggs. Back to "bed" for Sena at about 8am. Then the two year olds arise. This goes on for weeks and weeks. Tired doesn't begin to describe it. Sena doesn't know what it means to be rocked. Not used to that kind of intimacy. Lots of thrashing. Screaming. Scratching. My face looks like I've been in a fight with a cat. She has a cry like you've never heard. Eyes rolling back in her head. She is freaking out. Like, really freaking out. Sena yells out strange names in the night and whimpers. Truly heartbreaking. The big girls are having a hard time. Sena isn't sure what being in a family looks like. Mealtime is chaos. What's a high chair? Wait, why are you passing around that bowl!? Is the food leaving!? Cannot.let.go.of.food. Walks around with hands full of food at all times. Wants the steaming pot of pasta from the stove. Like, really won't stop screaming until she has all the food within her reach. Eats until she's sick most days. Lots of doctors visits. Parasites. Giardia. Ringworms. Tapeworms. Still not sleeping. Up every hour most nights screaming. We move her to her own room. We take turns laying on a mattress on the floor next to her. Biological kids starting to get really annoyed. Hitting and pouting are common. Sena cannot express herself so she bites. How do I discipline!? Probably can't spank her. But timeout just makes her laugh! We are weary. Outnumbered. Stressed. Dirty. Starting at each other every night wondering what on earth we've done to our lives. Laundry. Yeah right! Meals are still being brought over. We invite friends in. It may be breaking the attachment rules, but we need to see faces. I need to know the world is still spinning outside my messy house. All the kids eat way too many French fries. I yell at Sena for nothing then yell at Zoe and Nora. I've never yelled at one of my kids in almost three years. But I'm practically screaming at them today. My biological kids are huddled on the couch together so confused. Did a crazy person take over our mommies body!? I seriously consider checking myself into the crazy house. Kidding. But really. It was bad. But then.....Sena starts eating and leaving her food on the tray. She's starting to believe another meal is coming. She still wakes up at night but is now handing me her blanket and bottle and saying "night night" to the family. Welcoming my embrace and giggling with kisses from sisters. Rocking peacefully in my arms until her chubby sweet body just collapses into sleep on my chest. The death grip on the bottle is softer. In fact, once the milk is gone she tosses it down. Maybe she believes me that a new bottle will come again tomorrow. Or in a few hours. Who are we kidding. She starts to play alone. She looks back to check on me, but she's not so scared all the time. She starts napping. We still have sibling jealousy. But it's a little better. We go one or two days and realize that nothing horrific happened. No one spazzed out for 3 hours for no reason in the grocery store. We actually fold some laundry. Zoe introduces her baby sister to all her friends and teachers. Maybe I didn't ruin everyone's life after all. Sena starts talking. She follows directions. She runs to daddy in the evenings with open arms. She is learning that we are her family. I notice less crumbs everywhere. Hold on!? She didn't carrying food everywhere today. She is still fiercely independent. Mama wishes she would let herself just be a little more dependant on her. Just be a baby. But she is softer. She loves to be loved and to give love. Life is creeping back into normal territory. The big girls love their little sister so much. She loves them so much. Pulling the covers over my head and cringing at the day ahead is happening much less. We aren't just surviving or coping. Most days we are living life. We are adjusting. We are going to play dates and the park. We are making play dough and singing in the kitchen. We are icing Halloween cookies and licking the bowl. I am enjoying being a mommy again. My confidence in this whole parenting thing is slowly being restored. It's still hard. So hard.

But worth it. To watch a little human flourish under the care of a real family is a miracle that everyone should witness. We are a family. Sena is part of our family. We are lucky to have her. ❤️