Facebook

Facebook hurts.
It all started with the slight cringe I would feel every time I would see a post from a friend complaining about pregnancy or motherhood on facebook. I would read the comments and my heart would sink a little more each time. How could someone complain so openly about sleep deprivation when I would trade my house for a sleepless night? How could someone complain about being "fat" when I would trade my size small for an XL in a heartbeat if that meant I was given the amazing gift of pregnancy? How could someone actually post the status "pregnancy sucks" when I have given up SO much trying to obtain this very thing? How could my CHRISTIAN friends be so cruel? How could someone stop in the midst of one of life's greatest blessings to pick up their phone or computer and take the time to pull up facebook, type in a complaint and post it to the internet for all to see? Aren't they embarrassed? Don't they know how their complaining is coming off to others? I think the answer is NO. After noticing this mommy complaining trend I started to get really sensitive to the whole facebook thing. Its amazing how personal loss can really open your eyes to the hearts of others.

I started to notice comments complaining about EVERYTHING. Complaints about jobs, marriages, cars, houses, clothes.....just about anything you could think of. It makes me very very sad that we may be morphing into a culture where complaining is cool! As Christians we are called to have empathy. We are called to love others. We are called to be a light in a dark world. We are called to make sure that we are not harming others with our words. Any situation in life can be hard. Parenting, working, losing weight, dealing with loss, ANYTHING! And honestly, its hard to truly put yourself in others shoes unless you have been their personally. But I think before we post things for the world to see we need to stop and think about the effect our words can have on others. We need to stop and place ourselves in our friends and neighbors shoes. As Christians, there is NO place for  publicly expressing bitterness and a lack of thankfulness when it comes to the blessings God gives us.

Before we complain that our "house is falling apart" lets try to remember that there are people out there that would kill to own a home. Before we complain that our husbands "left the laundry on the floor yet again " lets remember that others have been praying for a husband for years and would do just about anything to have a husband to complain about. Before we openly post that we are so mad that we have to work late lets remember that others may be in their 10th month of job hunting with little success. Before we so boldly post pictures of our new cars and expensive clothes lets remember that these very things that may not be a stumbling block for you may be a HUGE weak area for others. Lets not let our words and actions plant seeds of envy, bitterness and sadness in others. I know this post is a bit out of character for me but I just finally felt like it needed to be posted. As Christians we are called to a higher standard. We are called to love others and take captive our tongues. I know that not one person is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Me included. It is impossible to know whats going on with others and it is unavoidable to not ever slip up and post/say something that may hurt another. Believe me, I am the queen of sticking my foot in my mouth! It's just the way it is. However, I have now been personally affected by my "friends" seemingly harmless "status updates". I have been brought to tears by the hurt facebook can cause and have seen others suffer too. It makes me wonder if our words are causing more hurt than we even know. It has made me much much more sensitive to the things I say. So, as far as facebook goes I want to encourage you to stop and think before you push that little button. Let's think before we post people!!

"Jesus turned and said to Peter, Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns." Matthew 16:23

It scares me to think my words could every be a stumbling block to others. Whether they are spoken or typed. Everyone has hard days. Everyone needs to call up a friend and just vent about how things just STINK sometimes. Even good things can be hard and just downright suck at times! But lets not post it for the world to see. Emotion cannot be conveyed through typed words on a screen.

So here is my challenge to you! Next time you feel compelled to post how awful dealing with a sick baby is or how mad you are at your hubby, use facebook to thank God for the cuddle time that comes along with a sick baby or thank him for your much needed girlfriend around the block that helps you take your mind off things. Then, log off, call your mom or close friend and let it all loose while you eat a bowl of ice cream!! :)

Bottom line, just be mindful of others. Be mindful of the fact that words can hurt. And be mindful of the fact that you are sharing your thoughts with thousands of people when you post something. :)

Ok that's the end of that. Goodnight! :)

Welcome August

We happily welcomed August today. It was a great day. The first of each month brings our wait list # update and it can range from lots of movement to a little to none. Today we moved 3 spots!!!! I was SO PUMPED!! We are now # 23. This is pretty good! Now that we have accepted the fact that it is looking like more of a 12 month wait as opposed to the short 6 months we expected, we don't get our hopes up too high and are just thrilled with movement!

They have increased wait times to 11-12 months. We have waited about 5 so we aren't doing so bad. We are getting there!! It had stopped seeming like a reality to me and today I was renewed with a sense of hope and excitement. God reminded me that we WILL get our little girl. She is coming! I CANNOT WAIT to meet her!

I am the every changing person when it comes to my emotions about this adoption, and well, most things in life, but today I am feeling hopeful and patient and am letting myself daydream about having my little girl home! I know she will be worth the wait and that makes it easier. The FOREVER that we will get to parent her will pale in comparison to the year we waited for her one day! Wow look at how rational I have become about this adoption! Patting myself on the back!! ;)

Here's a little of what we have been up to lately or what I snapped a shot of! We have had a great summer so far with lots of great things going on. We really love living in Sugar Land and are really settled now into our new suburban life! :)

 Snuggling with my Weltie.....love having him around the block!

 Spend the morning with my Cousin Lindsey (who is also now my neighbor!!) and Ava returned later to cook with me! :)

 Had some of our good friends over for dinner with their newest addition, Parker. Love them lots!!

 Went to see the Lion King!

 Went to one of our old Houston favorites, House of Pies, after the show. Nothing like a burger, sweet potato fries and pie at 12am!

 MMMMM....a taste of my early twenties hehe!

 Took Max to get a Cake Pop

Our good friend Garrett BUILT us this bed today. I am trying to decide what color to paint it. I will post the finish product soon. Impressive right!?

Ok that's all for now! Happy August to all and I hope our fellow "waiting" friends were as happy as we were this month with their waitlist number!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers when you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produced perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything" James 1:2-4

Home

I have been off work for 5 days now and it is just the most wonderful thing ever!!! I have SO much time to do everything and I am loving it. I love cooking. I love cleaning. I love doing the dishes and washing sheets. I love checking things off our to do list. I love doing jobs that Lance would typically have to do. I love sleeping in. I love drinking coffee out of a non disposable mug. I love having breakfast with family. I love love love being home. I love having time to read. I love opening up all my blinds and having the sun shine in while I write much overdue thank you notes. I love that im not sitting at my desk doing paperwork or wrist deep in anyone's mouth trying to figure out just why they can't swallow or move their tongue. I even love the fact that I am on a strict budget right now and have accepted the simplicity that this "vacation" will bring. I love that I am back in a bible study. I love that I have been able to get outside of myself more and think about others. I love that I have been given time to do things I want/need to do. I hope that doesn't sound selfish. But it is just downright amazing! The past couple nights I have gone to bed with a smile on my face, looking forward the the next new day. I had lunch with a friend today that encouraged me a lot. I was explaining my desires for my family. My wishes for Jane and my future children. My hopes for orphans. All of these things I want to do and to be. However, I have felt like my responsibility has been to work and make money(which is ok too)and I think that will continue to be my responsibility for a while longer. She encouraged me that God always puts people through a period of refinement and gets them ready for whats to come ahead. I am so excited to see what's ahead. But for now, for the next 5 weeks, I am just soaking up the wonderfulness of my responsibilities as a wife and friend!!! :) Ok off to make dinner and clean the house while listening to music! Heaven! :)

Stay at home wife.....well, for a minute! ;)

So today marks the beginning of my summer as a "stay at home wife". After MUCH consideration, we have decided that working until 7pm is just not for me. I am extremely extremely blessed to have the career that I do. The flexibility in settings, work hours, and client base is perfection for a person like me. When we moved to Sugar Land the commute into Houston was what drove me to initially change to the job that I am at now. However, I just could not get into the groove of working until 7pm, getting home at 7:30, cooking until 8:30, eating, cleaning up the kitchen and then hopping into bed. I know some people have no choice (my husband) and have to work those hours. I am aware that I need to be very thankful that I can simply say "I'm done!". But I think I will be happier to have the opportunity to be home earlier than Lance, work out, fix dinner and actually be able to get back into my weekly girls bible study and go to church on Wednesday. I have really missed my evenings and am so excited to have them back!!

I will be moving into the schools in the fall. I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!!! We have been very financially focused these past few years since our "baby making" has dealt us a bit of an expensive curve! However, I finally decided that I am willing to make the sacrifice for a career that better fits my personality. Going into an elementary school and working with kiddos, and then packing up at 3:30 to come home sounds like pure heaven! My happiest year of work was when I was a preschool teacher and I have been itching to get back into an academic setting. Not to mention the bazillions of school holidays and summers off. This company is also aware of our adoption and we have already talked about a post adoption "work plan" that is also perfect. I think this will be such a blessing. :)

So today when I get into my car it will mark the last day that I ever work until 7pm. I feel like someone just handed me my life back! :)

Our only real "label"

I got so excited last night to hop into bed, freshly washed hair and all cozy in my pjs fresh from the wash! One of the best feelings in the world I think. I opened up my bible (app) and was just so overcome with the treasure we have in having Gods word in our hands. I was more jumping around different books, ranging from Lamentations to Hosea, than really delving into a specific area this night. But when I was finished reading and laid my head on my pillow I felt so full of peace and a general excitement about my purpose here on this earth! However, I also felt a deep sense of overwhelming responsibility. My purpose is to be filled with Christ and to make sure I fit my life into the mold that he has created for me. I have been waiting and waiting for my "reward". Any mother who is childless knows this feeling of waiting on this reward that we all feel we deserve. The reward of being a mommy. But I was reminded last night that I can push and pull and beg for God to squeeze me into this mold of "mommy" (insert a number of labels for your own situation) that I so desperaely want to to fit into, but he won't. At least not right now. God knows the mold that was made perfect for me and I will only be in my perfect element and fit into the perfect mold for my own life when I resign to the wonderful fact that God knows where I fit. He knows what my life should look like. The answer is simple. It should look like Him and when my life looks like him THAT is my reward. That is what I am waiting for and striving towards, because no greater joy can be experienced than the joy that comes from taking on the mold of Jesus and trusting him to lead our steps. I'm thankful for God allowing this to spread through my mind last night as I fell asleep. Today I feel peaceful. I am thankful for my wonderful life and very aware of the warfare here and around the world. We are here to BE Jesus to those around us. To be a light in the darkness. This is our identity, our "mold". Yes, he blesses us with lots of other titles along the way; wife, mother, friend, sister...." But these words are not our identity or our calling. Our calling is simple. To wear Jesus everyday. To identify ourselves with Him and only Him and consider these other things " extra". I think God delights in blessing us with full lives that allow us to take on these other titles. He wants us to have good things. But I don't every want to forget that my identify and purpose lies in one thing and one thing alone and that is Jesus. Ony here is where I will find true purpose. :) Thanks Jesus for once again making things so simple when I try to make them difficult! :)

#26

Say what!? We moved three spots! There is a little movement back in the adoption world! Praise Jesus! I posted on facebook today that I am 39 weeks "paper pregnant". It's hard to believe that if this were a "normal" pregnancy I would be waddling around, expecting to have a baby any minute! After I posted this a friend said that a lot of her friends consider adoption like an elephant pregnancy. I googled this and learned that elephants are pregnant for 22 months. I think that's about right! My sister then said that if we don't have lots of friends who know how this feels (which luckily I know more and more each day) that I can commisurate with the elephants. Made me laugh hard!!

So, 3 more home.....26 more to go!! :)

Say "Yes" to fun things

 I have been a little stressed and really busy and I guess subconsciously decided I was done doing fun things because I was "a little stressed and really busy". I have been saying "no" to lots of things b/c of this. I decided last week that I would stop being "so busy and stressed" and just do fun stuff and simply be "un" busy and stressed. Genius I know!
So that is what I did. I got a last minute call from a friend to go to a Coldplay concert last week. On a weeknight. At 9pm. In downtown Houston. I started to do my typical "It's too late.....we will fight traffic out of Houston....I will be exhausted at work....it's too expensive....blah blah blah." Then I told myself, "Kayla, say YES to fun things!" Somewhere along the way of this adoption, and working and just life in general I think I have gotten a little "un"fun! I have been too tired, or too stressed to go out and do fun things with my friends. This is not like me. I will just go right out and say it, I am a naturally fun person! hehe! :)

Anyway, I had SO much fun! It was worth every yawn the next day at work. It was carefree and just so great. Life doesn't always have to be so serious! I have decided that life is hard sometimes but it still needs to be fun, and carefree too, and you still need to stay out way too late with friends at concerts every now and then!

I am not planning of reverting back to the Kayla that liked to stay up until 1am doing who knows what every night, but I am planning on trying to remember that life is supposed to be fun and carefree sometimes with the occasional late night out with friends!

Waiting for them to come on! We were on the floor on the 7th row!! :)

Happy weekend. I will post soon on what all we have been up to lately! :)